Have a lot of friends but still feel lonely.

[IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow]

Just that really.

We have recently moved (start of the year). Not far from where were, DP still does 2 days work where we were. So if he leaves at 7am, he's there by 8am.

However its too far on a day to day, even weekly basis, to visit, working around schools and work etc. So we attend weddings/ birthdays etc, but DP works nights locally too, and so we don't often get time to visit.

When we do, its taken up seeing family mostly.

I miss my friend I had coffee morning with. And my friend who me and our kids had dinner with every other week. Also going out one Monday a month to the lovely little pub with a few of them for Thai food and a catch up.

We used to do dinners with the neighbors where we would each bring a course. Or barbecues.

I don't do anything now. Seriously. My DM is local but shes moving abroad soon. And I don't know anyone.

I'm still in touch with my friends, but fb/ text/ emails & the phone is not quite the same , is it? I miss them terribly too. I've had a friend come to stay, but other than that, most my friends havn't even met my dd and shes 8 months.

Just a whinge I guess, and wonder if anyone else has been in this situation?

[wem]

That sounds tough. You seem a naturally sociable sort, have you been getting out and about where you live now? It's natural to miss your friends, and unfortunately it'll take a while before you will build up the same sort of network again, but if you start meeting new people you may stop feeling quite so isolated. And you can always stay in touch with your old friends at the same time.

[IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow]

No, not really sure where I can go tbh. DS2 has just started reception (long waiting lists everywhere) so hoping that helps.

I do want to be able to go somewhere that I can meet people on a regular basis. And have a people over for a wine night or whatever.

[daphnesglasses]

it sounds like you want to visit your old place more frequently - is it doable in a day if you could get someone else to pick up ds2 from school say once a month and you could pick up theirs once a month? (all of this will get easier in time?) Also could you just invite more friends from old place to stay at a weekend?

Also how about baby groups with dd? your local library will have some activities listed. Could you start a weekly activity such as going to an exercise or evening class or something to meet people in your area? have a look on meetup or try to find a book group or something? NCT? any local colleges with a creche etc

I think it's natural to feel this way, it takes at least a year to feel settled in a new place IME and it's hard making all the effort with 2 young dcs.

good luck

[IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow]

If I knew someone here then I would really like the day trip idea. Yy to inviting people more.

I think I will try to get out more now. DS2 has just started full time now. Evening classes are hard because DP works most evenings.

I will take a walk down to the library tomorrow and have a look. We are already members & DS1 goes there quite a bit (he's 11yrs)

Thank you

[MadeMan]

Why did you move home OP? Seems as though you had everything sorted out where you were, including your partner's work.

If it's only an hour away to where you used to be, can you meet up with friends/old neighbours halfway? That means it'll only be about half hour trip which seems not bad.

[IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow]

I moved for a number of reasons. We were offered a secure tenancy in a lovely property through family. Too be nearer to my DM & DBexcept now shes moving .

I like the place we are in. Just I thought it would be easier to see people then it is. The time/ distance is not a problem on its own, however I have 1 DS at secondary(YR7) and 1 DS in Primary. Working around 2 different school times makes it difficult.