Ok so here goes. I have been with my partner for 3 years in September and I have a horrible feeling he is cheating on me. I don't know if I am just being silly but he is being very sneaky. He had a text at bedtime last night but didn't read it. This morning when he went to make tea I had a look and there was no message on his phone, I think he read and deleted it while I was in shower. When he came up I casually asked who had text him and he said one of his mates from football. Well why delete that message, plus he has as smart phone where the messages continue in conversation form and there were other messages form this guy further down in his message list (hope that makes sense) so why lie about it? I didn't say anything.
A bit of history. He was with his ex for 16 years, they have kids together but he was never faithful. Said they just bumbled along and it was never meant to be a long term serious thing but then the kids arrived. He had an affair with someone he worked with (for about a year I think) and lots of 'others' during their relationship. He did tell me all of this after we had been dating for a couple of months and stupidly (maybe) I decided that he had been honest enough to tell me about it so I would give him the benefit of the doubt and continue to see him. After almost a year and 3 months I moved into his and rent out my house. Since moving in over a year and a half ago he doesn't seem interested in sex with me. He keeps coming up with different excuses and its pretty much always me that instigates it. Also last year after our holiday I found messages on his phone to the woman he had been cheating on his ex with and he told her he loved her and missed her. When I confronted him about this he said he didn't' mean it like that and that it was in a friendship way as they had been really good friends before the affair had started. I also found messages on his facebook to a woman he had been to college with but now lives about 3 hours away. She was saying how she missed him and wishes she was in his bed. He hadn't said anything like that back to her though but I know that when they were younger they had a 'thing'.
The problem now is that I am 20 weeks pregnant with twins (planned pregnancy) but as I get further into the pregnancy I just feel I'm can't trust him and I don't know what to do!
Please don't be mean, I am very emotional and yes I may have been stupid but in general day to day life he is very kind and caring normally. We have only had about 4 or 5 big rows since we have been together.
Really I am just looking for advice.
Sorry that was long winded and thank you for reading.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Is my partner playing away?
Sunnydale52 · 17/07/2013 09:44
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.