Please forgive any disjointed waffling. This will most likely be long. Please stick with me.
I need to stress, I know 100% there is nobody else.
ExP woke up 18 days ago and casually announced he no longer loved me and he left.
I have a 14 yr old DD from a previous r.ship and we have a 7 month old DS.
I haven't seen him since he left but agreed that he could pick DS up from my sister and DBIL the following weekend. (I didn't trust myself to beg him to come home and I refuse).
He dropped DS back at my sis and that was 10 days ago. Since then he's only asked after our baby twice and on both occasions, it was initiated by my contact with him.
I've been getting angrier and more upset as every day has passed and eventually, yesterday, I sent a text saying I was so sad and really upset that he's showing no interest in the baby. He replied saying DS is the most important thing in the world to me...I need my DJ equipment.
He's not a professional DJ, it's his passion.
I was fuming at this response and told him he'd gain access when it was convenient to me.
Within the hour, he was banging on my door for his equipment and I didn't answer as I wasn't having this in front of DS. I was livid.
In all that time where was the passion for our beautiful baby?
I'm bereft. He's a stranger to me. But I'm so unhappy. I don't want to be a single parent again. I've been left with all the responsibility of the family he discarded.
I'm being treated for PND and I believe I have PTSD (another story but related to birth and immediately after). And I have no support other than my teen daughter, who I try not to put on but I rely on her to see to the baby while I wash/ sterilise/ make bottles, make dinner, go to the bloody toilet!
I had no idea ExP was unhappy. Lets just say he must be an excellent actor, as I never saw it coming and the first I heard was when he left.
I'm struggling to get my head around it. I know he wants his responsibility free, party days back and I believe he's let his family down.
I have wondered why it is that it's so easy for men to throw the towel in on something so bloody important. What would the people around us have thought/ said if I'd walked away without a backward glance from my family?
I'm so frustrated. Please hold my hand,
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
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FeegleFion · 10/07/2013 19:01
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