EA again?

[Dearjackie]

I have started other threads on my EA relationship and I feel I am getting closer to seeing through the fog and getting out. It really helps to post on here as things happen and your comments help me to figure out what I going on

The latest being this: DP went to see his kids for the day today, tomorrow we were set to go to see a show I had wanted to see for a while and it was a belated birthday treat. All good and I was looking forward to it. We haven't seen each other in a week as he's been living at his and working. Then I said something he didn't like, I moaned I hadn't heard much from him today and now he's saying the usual stuff I'm selfish( well he may have a point there as he was with his kids) hence I apologised but I can't win because then he says " yeh your sorry till the next time" he says he hates what I've become ect ect, wants me to change. Basically he's letting me down over tomorrow and punishing me because I've said something that's pissed him off

I think he's being cruel again. He's not letting me apologise he just keeps saying he can't take anymore. I don't know if I'm coming or going anymore. He throws lots more at me as well things that have happened days ago that pissed him off and I thought were passed. I doubt he really wants to end it but I'm ALMOST there I'm right at the edge and its not gonna take much at all to be the straw that breaks the camels back

Hr always has me doubting myself and I know when it ends I will spend time worrying it was me and I will never have a decent relationship because of what I'm like. When I've tried to say to him I don't think I've done much wrong he says " well you can sleep easy then"

Don't really know what I expect you all to say but thanks for reading and feel better for venting

[Dearjackie]

Just read that back and I'm not sure it makes sense. I just constantly question myself, whether I'm in the right or the wrong. Obviously I know I'm wrong sometimes but I do apologise its just he's bloody nasty at times

[ParsleyTheLioness]

Yes, this is EA. That's part of it, that you think, 'Is it me'. Often very cleverly done.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I read that as you saying 'haven't heard from you much today' and him going totally off the deep end for no reason whatsoever. Emotional abuse tends to be characterised by repeated OTT behaviour (often interspersed with nice behaviour), with the emphasis on blaming the victim, making the victim doubt themselves, feel small, wonder what they've done wrong and so on. So it certainly has all the hallmarks. But, even if it's not a sustained campaign of emotional abuse, quite honestly he sounds like an offensive little twat and I can't see what he brings to the party. If he's 'living at his' I'd tell him not to bother coming back.

It's really not your fault this person is the way he is. Even if you've experienced something similar before, it's not your fault. You can and will be in a healthy, equal relationship one day and I think all you have to work on is building your confidence and telling yourself it's OK to get shot of offensive little twats much earlier than you currently do. Good luck

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

I read one of your previous threads, and am glad the fog is starting to lift. You're right, this is emotional abuse, and you don't have to take it.