According to much online research, H bears all the characteristics of an obsessive compulsive bi-polar narcissist and that?s being kind. God knows what mood he?s in at any given time in any 24 hours, happy, depressed angry, happy depressed angry ? I?m full of hope, I?m crushed like a gnat ? it is an exhausting cycle - I?ve read Lundy, I know it?s never going to change, he?s always going to be glass half empty with a temper and I?m always going to be to blame for everything although conversely, and just like all other abusive twats I read about, he is Mr Popular, Mr Funtime Frankie, and Mr Successful to family, friends, colleagues, DC?s friends parents etc etc...they will be horrified when we split!
I?m on citalopram, I comfort eat, can't get into a diet and am a bit overweight, I have no off-switch when I drink wine, I?ve set up my own secret bank account and I am paying into it regularly while at the same time trying to pay off the big debt to tax credits he built up with my name on it so that I can claim when I leave him as I?m not on the world?s best salary.
I just have a couple of questions that I?m hoping some kind MN?ers could maybe enlighten me on
- He has threatened that if I left him he would fight me for full custody of the kids by telling the courts/authorities that I am an alcoholic. Says he has been building a dossier on me! (We have 2 young dd?s who are very close to me, he?s barely here as works miles away and is gone from early til late every day, - I am their full time carer, they are well fed, happy, confident, bright, washed, dressed, at school every day while I work and then shipped to various afterschool clubs etc by me ? yeah I like wine, but not everyday and I?m not a fucking alcoholic)
- How do I leave? (I have a 7 month plan in place, enough time to save money and pay off the tax credits ? but when I get there?do me and the kids just disappear leaving a letter and telling him I?ll be in contact regarding contact and therefore totally ?enrage the beast? ? or do I try and do it face to face and end up being beaten into submission...again.
I?m nervous! He can be volatile and violent
Thanks anyone