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Post-split: Evidence of cheating while we were together -WWYD?

(62 Posts)
MsWinnieBaygo Tue 25-Jun-13 16:24:11

A bit of advice/common sense needed please - I know this issue is nothing in comparison to what some of you have had to go through as me & exDP weren't married, no DCs, only together for a year (meant to be exclusive) and split up - at his instigation - a few months ago.

He dumped me a few months ago - I was upset though deep down knew it was for the best and it wasn't going to go anywhere. I wanted to go no contact but about 6 weeks after finishing things he gets in contact with a friendly message, still texts and emails a few times a week and states that he misses me, regrets his decision etc. I have ignored the last couple of messages as telling him I don't want to be friends seems to make no difference and I'm past the stage where I want to get back with him. I did think we could actually maybe now be friends but ...

I idly googled a user name last night that he uses for something else and came across a least 5 adult sex & webcamming sites that he has been on since 2010 - recently using them and evidence seems to indicate that he was using them whilst we were together. They are definitely him and have some pretty disgusting and identifiable photos and videos of him. Some profiles state he has a girlfriend so he only interested in webcamming and sexy chat other profiles state that he is single and looking for adult meets.

Obviously what he has done/is doing since we split up is none of my business but it hurts and angers me that he was doing this when we were together and spinning me a pack of lies. Especially as he is trying so hard now to be my 'friend' with his nicey nice emails and texts

He's in the past, I see him for the pathetic twat that he is, I do pretty much believe that this is as a result of his issues rather than any reflection on me. I guess my question is, do I:

A) Confront him now via email or text, with or without screenshots of the information that I have, that he is a lying cheating creep who used webcams while with me and god knows what else
B) As above, though wait until he contacts me with a text or email again first, which I'm pretty sure the pathetic player will do.
C) Do nothing and ignore and delete any future attempts at contact from him

If A or B - how do I do this without seeming like a crazy psycho Internet stalker?

I'm not wanting an apology or to listen to any of the bullshit that comes out of his mouth. I want him to know I know but have my dignity intact. Not even sure why I want him to know that I know. I just can't believe he treated me like such an idiot and I put my trust in him

Thanks for reading and cast your votes people - option A,B or C?

MsWinnieBaygo Tue 25-Jun-13 19:35:15

Omnivorously?? Was meant to be obviously - obviously! grin

BreasticlesNTesticles Tue 25-Jun-13 19:39:17

Text him this

"Hahahahahahah <insert picture> hahahahahahaha."

WhoNickedMyName Tue 25-Jun-13 19:41:02

If you can send the message and know for sure that whatever he comes back with, you won't care and you won't enter into text tennis with him, that you won't reply in any way shape or form then yeah, send a message.

But I don't think you're there yet.

Don't give him any more of your time and energy.

MsWinnieBaygo Tue 25-Jun-13 20:09:43

I think I'm very nearly at the stage of not caring and whilst I don't want to get involved in text tennis I can't hand on heart say that I won't respond regardless of what he replies despite not wanting to. Maybe best left well alone ....

MsWinnieBaygo Wed 26-Jun-13 19:56:15

Well I've found out yet even more sordid information about the cheating lying twat. Ironically though this has made me what to contact him even less with the evidence and just delete the fucker from my life for good with immediate effect.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Lizzabadger Wed 26-Jun-13 20:24:28

Yes just ignore (and don't google his name, check his facebook etc or have anything to do with him ever again.)

MsWinnieBaygo Wed 26-Jun-13 21:13:01

All contact details now deleted for him and I have no intention of responding if he contacts me again. Have realised and accepted that the best 'revenge' isn't confronting him with the evidence as he'd show and feel no remorse and probably just spout more bullshit - the best revenge is me moving on for good and being happy. Discovering this has probably done me a favour in a twisted way as its finally helped me close the door on the knob.

MortaIWombat Wed 26-Jun-13 21:30:41

I'd be tempted to reply with something along the lines of,
"Look, I don't mean to be hurtful, but I really was not in a good place when I was with you. I find the relationship all rather embarrassing. Please could you not contact me again? Best wishes, MrsWB.'

Short and scornful but still nominally polite revenge, without admitting you gave enough of a shit to google, but still insinuating that he is a shameful thing in your past and unworthy of you.

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 22:26:42

Good for you, winnie

Onward and upward !

kalidanger Thu 27-Jun-13 06:06:00

C is obvs the best option but do bear in mind that ignoring him (and blocking as much as you can but having to leave some avenues open, because why should you change your number?) might represent a 'challenge'. If he's so up himself he's convinced himself that smoothing things over with you is his latest project he might not quit.

I like AwesomeWellies response myself, or breasticles.

Hopasholic Thu 27-Jun-13 10:17:46

Hmmm it would be tempting to screen shot and have the picture blown up billboard style with the caption 'And he still can't get it up!'

But that's just me.

C it is then

MsWinnieBaygo Thu 27-Jun-13 10:23:33

grin Hop - unfortunately the screenshots show that he can very clearly get it up if you get my drift

Hopasholic Thu 27-Jun-13 14:49:30

Hmmm what about making a moonpig card from the picture and sending it to him anon grin


C it is

You can also have any picture made into gift wrap.....

MardyPants Thu 27-Jun-13 17:41:43

Option D

'Fuck the fuck right off and stop fucking bothering me'

And actually send the link to his mum.

MsWinnieBaygo Thu 27-Jun-13 17:42:30

Eek - crunch time as got both a text & email from twatface this afternoon. Staying strong so far with 98% of me wanting to still ignore him and only 2% of me still trying to think of a cutting response to send to him.

Twisted fecking pervert

MortaIWombat Thu 27-Jun-13 22:36:36

Please use mine.
Pleeeeeeeeeaaaase? grin
and then report back

ThistleVille Thu 27-Jun-13 23:02:21

Please don't respond. You have your dignity - he, obviously, does not.

Anniegetyourgun Thu 27-Jun-13 23:46:09

Think of a cutting response by all means. Think of several. Think of his face when he reads all the entertaining suggestions on here. And then don't send any of them. Revel in the thought that he will never know what was so funny. These pearls are far too precious for swine.

oldwomaninashoe Fri 28-Jun-13 09:57:15

I would also say see but if you need to respond how about "You're deleted!"

MsWinnieBaygo Fri 28-Jun-13 14:19:35

Have got another email this morning so still debating my options - sticking with C at the mo though getting more & more tempted at the thought of sending a cutting response.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Fri 28-Jun-13 15:13:46

This is becoming harassment of you, to be honest.

Perhaps it is time to say "I do not wish to have anything to do with you. Kindly respect my choice. If you ever contact me again for any reason, I will consider it harassment and will report it to the police."

MsWinnieBaygo Fri 28-Jun-13 16:27:33

Unfortunately he is a policeman

Have tried the don't contact me again though doesn't make the blind bit of difference. I know if I continue to ignore he'll probably go away eventually but I'm thinking now that I might just send a cutting message stating I know everything to put an end to this farce once and for all. I won't be in the slightest bit tempted to reply anymore like I would've a few days ago. He just disgusts me now & the thought of what he was doing behind my back makes my stomach turn.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 28-Jun-13 16:43:23

A policeman?!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 28-Jun-13 16:46:56

Sorry for knee jerk 'clutching at pearls' response, unhelpful.

BOF Fri 28-Jun-13 17:03:34

Just keep ignoring him and delete stuff without reading.

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