Friend doesn't want to post herself but has given me permission to post on her behalf.
Background - engaged and living together for 4 years, one child and 16 weeks pregnant at the moment.
Same old sorry story I'm afraid.
Lately he has become very paranoid about her phone, asking who she is texting, wanting to look over her shoulder at web pages, etc. She isn't doing anything out of the ordinary and its led her to think that maybe he is projecting as he is up to something...
For the last month she has been checking his phone when he is asleep. He has started using ingognito browsing on line but by using the back button and has found porn sites. This isn't her main concern however. He doesn't generally delete texts and there are months worth stored on his phone, but by comparing his phone log to his inbox its obvious that he is deleting texts from one number. The number is stored in the phone but not as a name, as a jumble of letters.
Not being able to read the texts, she hasn't wanted to mention it to him. But last night he slipped up and forgot to delete one message, it was an innocent text (asking if she had gotten to work ok) but addressed the recipient by name - it is a woman he works with, has mentioned in passing a few times but not really in a positive way.
So, she downloaded a back up app and automatically forwards all his incoming and outgoing texts to his gmail. She has hidden the app on his phone and changed the name of the folder the emails go into on his gmail account. He shouldn't be aware of it unless he actually looks closely on his phone. She accesses his gmail account from her phone and can now view texts in real time.
Early this morning they exchanged 5 fairly innocently sounding texts, him wishing her a happy birthday, telling her she didn't look her age, asking what she was up too, she replies in a friendly way, kisses on messages from them both.
She doesn't know what to do, whether to watch and wait, or confront him - nothing really to go on though as there is nothing incriminating in the texts yet and he would realise she was reading his messages.
She has gone to huge lengths to get into his phone and bypass the lock, to hack into his email, to delete traces of herself on it. She is consumed by it. I agree with her that it looks dodgy, why delete the texts and store her name under a different number if its innocent etc
She is so down at the moment and I don't know what advice to give her.
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Relationships
Advice needed for a friend - has she gone to far and what should she do now?
5 replies
FourLittleDudes · 26/05/2013 12:41
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