Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I've found myself in a long-distance relationship. It wasn't really planned at all, but so far I'm enjoying it. We've been seeing each other for about four months, 'official' for two. (I'll call him.. D). He's a lovely guy from what I've seen and I do feel cautiously hopeful that there may be something special about him, worth me taking the time to really get to know him.
I've done long-distance before and hated it passionately. But I think my life overall is happier now and there's less emphasis in my mind on using the distraction of the LDR to fill the unhappy gaps (I realised, in the past this only served to make me unhappier). It hasn't been as awful as I feared, but I still find myself wishing for D to be able to just 'pop over' of an evening, or to be able to plan something spontaneous to do on a weekend - that hasn't required a week to plan travel and find someone to look after my cats, etc.
However, I did tell myself after my ex NOT to get into something like this, as it really isn't what I want for my life right now. I've had enough of moving around, restarting over again in a new place. But if I ever want things with D to be more than long-distance, one of us would have to do just that one day.
D is soon to be interviewing for jobs that will mean he's contracted to stay in his city for at least a year. There's a kind of invisible deadline in my mind that after the summer, I will have to decide - am I prepared for this relationship to definitely be only a LDR, for at least a year and with no guarantees after that either?
I some thinking to do.. because I can see that in the coming months I'll have to make what could end up being a painful and difficult decision. If I prepare for it now, maybe it won't be as painful as I fear?
So, do I:
A) End it now. Before I get too emotionally attached and begin imagining a shared future - self preservation
B) Remain as I am - cautiously wait and see, while enjoying the time we do get - but keeping emotions in check and being realistic about the possible outcomes for the future.
C) Stop worrying, enjoy the relationship and see where things end up? (I think this has the possibility of being the most painful option - I find myself really really liking D and have to continually pop my bubble of optimism with a cold dose of reality - the fact that neither of us seem to want to relocate)
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Relationships
Should I: A) end it now, B) cautiously wait and see, or C) let go of my worries and ride the possibilities?
14 replies
indigosunset · 19/05/2013 14:34
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