Divorced earlie this year after three years emotional abuse, volatility and cultural differences complicating our problems. Also felt he was heavy handed with our two ds (5 and 3).
I has to ask xh to pick up eldest yesterday as I was stuck at a funeral. Ds had to come home from school as was vomiting. Xh reluctantly took him to his flat, when I picked up ds he was crying and xh was ranting to me about how ds(who he sees weekly for four hours) is 'always whinging, and was very difficult when he was asked to come off laptop'. It was easier for me to sit with ds and listen to rant, than to challenge and have xh rage at me in front of ds.
That evening, he had come round to offer some help, and three year old ds was having a tantrum as was overtired. Xh picked ds up, in a kind of baby cuddling hold, and then restrained him, to which ds himself was raging as a response. I calmly asked xh to stop as it was distressing ds, and subsequently he did and ds came to me and calmed with a hug. Xh looked really annoyed and said I was wrong, that ds had to learn and that my calming response would be 'bad teaching' for his future. I suggested that xh consider how he would feel if suddenly restrained when angry..this was dismissed.
Do I sound like an overprotective mum or a balanced one? Xh is being nice at mo (after ranting the other week that I was a slag, ruined his life, will leave the country etc) and I am mindfull this act will last as long as I don't challenge him.
Any views please? Thanks.
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Can't stand xh 'tough love' approach
3 replies
BouncyButterfly · 10/05/2013 11:16
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