I discovered recently that OH has managed to get himself into a payday loan cycle. He's accumulated over £2,500 worth of debt, from interest and new loans, over the course of two years. Along with debts we already have together, we're not in a good position.
He hid it very well. I had no idea. Until I had to go into his email to get a number for him, whilst he was at work, and I found the reminder emails dating back to 2011.
I confronted him, and he admitted everything. He says he didn't tell me because he was ashamed he'd let it get so bad. He'd been paying the minimum payments, or paying one off with another loan, so the debts wouldn't be obvious. We'd been living as normal the whole time.
We're now paying them all back, and don't expect to be out of debt until the end of July. That's with us paying out half of OH's wages every month, leaving us with enough money for rent and bills, and having to buy groceries with tax credits. We're budgeting like crazy and going without things that we need, me in particular. I'm pregnant, and I need maternity clothes, but can't afford them... DS is fine for a while, we got him his summer clothes last year, so I'm thankful for that.
We wouldn't be going about this so drastically if I wasn't pregnant, and didn't need full flow of money by the time the baby comes. I would never have agreed to TTC if I knew he was in debt, knowing that it would take most of my pregnancy to pay it off.
I feel utterly betrayed and miserable. Living on a tight budget is depressing, and I'm fed up with trawling charity shops for maternity clothes and finding nothing!!! He understands that I'm angry, but he wants to put it behind us and focus on paying it off and the baby. I don't feel he's in the position to want anything
I know this is temporary, I know that people live like this for years, and I know in the grand scheme of things it isn't a lot of money to owe. I just feel so angry.
I guess this is a rant more than an advice thread
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How do I deal with my anger surrounding OH's secretly accumulated debts?
20 replies
ElliedJeels · 02/05/2013 18:11
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