Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Any tips on how to handle this situation?

(10 Posts)
dietcokefriend Tue 30-Apr-13 20:53:21

Any tips on how to remain dignified when you have been left for OW but still have to communicate regularly about children/house?

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Tue 30-Apr-13 21:00:16

Just remind yourself he is a stupid cunt ruled by his cock, and you are much smarter and deserve much better.

OddSockMonster Tue 30-Apr-13 21:01:13

Keep it business like, communicate through a solicitor if needed, keep emotion out of it.

You ok?

Lueji Tue 30-Apr-13 21:02:36

E-mail and text messages.

Read them only when you want it, take time to digest it, re-read messages, keep to essential and don't give in too much.

At hand overs, remember the method of communication and finish conversation immediately.

Squitten Tue 30-Apr-13 21:02:43

Tell yourself that you are no longer romantically involved and this is now a business relationship. Treat him like you would a colleague who you despise - politely, impersonally and only about business matters, i.e. house & child

MissAnnersley Tue 30-Apr-13 21:06:48

Try to keep communication to a minimum. Don't get involved in a 'text-fest' with your ex.
If you can do as much of your communicating electronically so you have a record of it and can also switch off or ignore.
If you can, avoid personal conversations about how either of you are coping or getting on.
If you want to send something ranty, type it in, admire your handiwork and then delete. It does help.

Moanranger Tue 30-Apr-13 21:15:56

Use a journal or diary to write down how awful he has been/list his many flaws. Use imagery - mine is tiny little STBXH in tiny little boat on huge ocean drifting to horizon & disappearing.
If you must speak face to face, then have a list of topics, discuss & tick off.
At the moment I would love to ask mine given that he now has what he wants, why is he still such a misery guts? I will resist.

ImperialBlether Tue 30-Apr-13 21:39:43

Always be completely business like. He is not your friend. If he's like others, he will want to be friends, because that way he can keep the image he has of himself as a nice guy. He is not your friend.

If he phones to ask about the children, put him on to them. Keep all conversations brief. Don't forget that if he has somewhere suitable to live, he can have them every alternate Saturday night and every alternate Friday night so that you can go out. Don't ever pay for a babysitter - make him do it.

I'm so sorry you're going through this; it's a really awful time, I know.

cjel Tue 30-Apr-13 22:10:51

My stock phrase is 'quiet dignity' And I journal all the imaginary converstions that go through my head!!!

overtheraenbow Tue 30-Apr-13 22:18:26

Write emails by hand . Put them away for a day then retread them delete any ranty bits or just decide not to send them at all anyway ( chances are he's A) not going to listen B) do his own thing or C) kick against it just because you suggested it!! )

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now