I've been an idiot. After being messed around for years while he claimed he was moving out, then messed around over contact with DC (because I unwisely initially allowed it to take place in my house), and messed around infinitely over money (spending mine while he was here and now failing to pay maintenance), I thought I'd finally managed to set some boundaries with his move to a different town.
After my 4 yo spoke to him by phone at the weekend, she handed the phone to me. (He was meant to be coming to see her but apparently felt unwell and cancelled.) We were still in bed and I was half asleep.
To cut a long story short, he asked if he could stay overnight next weekend and somehow I agreed. I don't want him here abd don't know why I said it.
He owes me money, is a lazy, drunken liar and I will probably need to take legal action against him for breaking the consent order. I don't want this man sleeping under my roof and would probably spend the night elsewhere if he did.
Thinking back, he even had the nerve to frame it as helping me out by "looking after" his own child while I got some work done from home...
So I have to undo this and am planning to send a text along yhe following lines:
It was wrong of me to agree that you could stay over here on xxxxx night. It will only be confusing for DD and isn't good for you or I. Please don't make this request again. If you want to stay in Xxxxxtown overnight, book yourself into one of the hostels or b&bs nearby.
Is this sufficient?
There's a lot of other things I'd like to say about his legal and moral obligations to his child but he clearly doesn't care and I don't want to sound confused.
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Help - agreed to something stupid re DH
10 replies
ChangingWoman · 22/04/2013 06:42
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