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Relationships

How do you cope with a distal relationship?

6 replies

nametapes · 13/04/2013 20:05

Has anyone got any sensible tips for coping with a distal thing. My boyfriend, who i dont see very much works in Dubai . He is away for 6 weeks then gets 3 weeks back here , but we dont live nearby in the UK either. We have a week together every 6 weeks then see each other 2x more for a few nights. Its tough , but we think a lot about each other and dont want to give up.

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ItsRainingOutside · 14/04/2013 03:01

Its hard being in this situation but as long as there's a light at the end of the tunnel - he'll come home/you go live there, then you can make it work. My boyfriend and I have had a long distance relationship for 18 months now and it's been extremely tough. We see each other for about a week every few months but do talk/skype/text every day. Doesn't mean both of us haven't got so frustrated we wanted to end it but we worked it out. In 6 months, he'll be coming home for good and it will all be worth it.

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nametapes · 14/04/2013 16:42

Ah thats nice ItsRaining.. what does he do for a living?

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Kundry · 14/04/2013 17:16

It's hard but doable. Me and my DH are together for about 1 week every 6 weeks - the 2 weeks we were on honeymoon was the longest we'd ever spent with each other Currently the dream is he gets a job in the UK and we can see each other at weekends - his job is unlikely to be near me.

Things that work for us:
We Skype every night without fail - even if one of us is knackered and the conversation lasts 2 minutes
We store up things to talk about that we know the other is interested in
Holidays are worked out with military precision - generally I'll go when he is a work and vice versa so we get 12 weeks together instead of 6 IYSWIM

When your DP is in the UK can he spend the whole 3 weeks with you? My DH didn't live near me in the UK and it took us a while to realise he could spend all his time with me rather than at his 'old home' when he was in the UK. Can he effectively move with you in the UK?

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ItsRainingOutside · 16/04/2013 13:49

He's an architect finishing up a project overseas. Don't give up as if it's meant to be, it will all work out.

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maybeIwillmaybeIwont · 16/04/2013 14:04

Well, I have probably the ultimate in long distance relationships. my husband works overseas and only comes back 2 weeks a year! But I do go out there (overseas at the moment) every 2 months for 2 months, so effectively, I spend half the year in the UK, half overseas.

This has been going on for the last 7 years but he has always worked away most of our married life, so I am totally used to it, though it must help that we never had children, (although not by choice.)

So, yes, it takes a lot of hard work but it certainly can be done. By the way, when I'm at home in England we only Skype once a week, we email or text rest of the week, and we've been married 33 years next week.

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nametapes · 16/04/2013 16:39

gosh, well done 'maybei will maybei wont... you have sticking power!!
i am flying out on Saturday to spend 6 days with him, then he is flying back with me to go and see his teenage girls ....
then 11 days later we spend a night in London together then another night at my place before he flies out back... but he may have to go to Malta and i could go with him for the weekend!!.. fingers xxd