I know this isn't strictly a relationship question but there are a lot of women who might have been in my situation and know how to help me - or at least know how the system works?
I'm separated from my husband who used to be the SAHP. He is being advised by the job centre that he can no longer look after the children during the day as it will effect his benefit (jsa).. so are they basically saying i need to pay for 5 days of childcare for 2 children even though their father is not working those days? This seems fucking ridiculous to me... if he needs time out for interviews etc, i have said i will cover (my work have been amazing!) so it's not impacting his job search and he doesn't have them the day he signs on etc Is this because he is the NRP or am i missing something... if i was unemployed, at home - would i need to find nursery places even though i would be around to care for them...?
i am going to chat to my husband tomorrow but if anyone knows if this is true - i would be so grateful...
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Can this be true?
Skillbo · 12/04/2013 01:37
Why is he claiming benefits at all when he's got a job as a SAHP? 
That said, I can't see them saying he either looks after his kids or claims benefits. It's more likely they are curious about whether he is claiming JSA and has got no intention of seeking jobs and intends remaining a SAHP. Has he failed to follow up on job leads? I can see there might be risk in benefits being cut or even withdrawn if they think he's not serious about working. I'm sure the same would apply to you if you were at home and claiming JSA too.
Your best bet though is to give your local Job Centre a ring and check this out. I don't know the circumstances of your break-up but as he's now an ex, is there a possibility he's lying about this and doesn't want to look after his kids any more? Has he got a new relationship for example and he's finding that kids cramp his style?
Remember, if you have to get organised childcare in the future, he's responsible for half of the money for it and if he's got no real intention of getting a job, that means he'll have to stump up quite a bit of his benefit.
That's a great link BOF - and seems to cover it. Wonder what he's playing at...?
We're having a chat tonight so will mention this
THANKS as always - such great advice on here 
Has he got a history of lying, either long term or recently?
If he's got someone new, my guess is that he's getting some pressure not to look after his children as much. But if that's true and he's giving into it, he's a cowardly fibber. BTW I cheered when I read that you'd stopped bankrolling him 
I don't think he's very trustworthy - i used to but OW has put paid to that! I do think he still wants to spend time with DC though - he seemed genuinely upset about that.
I showed him the info in that link & he's going to take that to the job centre next time he goes. I have a friend who works there so am going to give him a call to see if the CAB advice is up to date. I can't imagine it isn't though, in which case who knows...
I get the child benefit as the children are residing with me - i drop them off to him on those days DD doesn't have school which is only 1 of the 3 days... the rest of the time, he does the school run & looks after DS.
I don't think he realised how much his life would change when he walked out, leaven - he was properly shocked when i told him i would be taking the child benefit & he would need to support himself! I do cover stuff when he has the children though as they shouldn't miss out because he's such a loser
I've caught up with my friend and the CAB information is correct - but really only if you're the primary carer which my husband isn't really.
However, I can write them a letter to say I will cover childcare when he is needed for interviews etc. I think the issue is that he has told them he wants part time work even though his circumstances are such that he needs to say he is available for full time to qualify. Using the children as an excuse as to why he wants part-time isn't going to fly.
Interestingly, the job centre will cover the cost of childcare if needed although you need to supply the carer details etc. Not sure how this works in our situation but if he needed to work one of the days he currently looks after the children, it might be he can get some support for this.
Anyways - I just hope something can be sorted out so that my two children have as little disruption to their little lives as possible as it has been a tough few months for them 
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