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getting more difficult instead of easier

(5 Posts)
EverythingHappens4aReason Sun 07-Apr-13 19:16:29

H left for OW about 6 months ago now. Ive been devestated, angry, shocked, annoyed and then I thought I was on an evel keel but the last few weeks I feel like Im losing control sad DS 14 had taken it really bad, wont't talk about him won't see him, been very angry at everything. She has started to give cheek in school coming in late and not being where she said she would be etc, not major stuff but I find myself getting SO wound up more that Im here on my own trying to deal with it while he's in his new lovenest peeling grapes for his new love.......Extreme I know but I feel like I'm taking it out on her! I feel like Im going under sad
Support for this self pitying mum trying to do my best confused

eatmydust Sun 07-Apr-13 20:25:09

My DCs were about the same age when my marriage imploded. Had a lot of issues with both of them, directly related to the divorce, their hatred for their Dad and the OW.

Know exactly how you feel. They refused to see him, although DD did after a couple of months, but became very manipulative. I tried to talk to ExH and he just blamed me!!!

Have you had counselling? Not just for yourself but maybe for your DD as well? I didn't and looking back think it would have helped enormously. Or is there any family support - like an uncle who can talk to your DD?

You will come through this, but it is so hard at the time. Feel for you both.

EverythingHappens4aReason Sun 07-Apr-13 20:54:58

She is 'speaking' to someone in school, we dont call it couselling but I think I could do with some. My f&f have been fantastic but I try not to talk about it much to them incase they're fed up hearing about it ;) I feel jealous of him just stepping out and leaving it all behind in some wierd twisted way but I know I wouldn't have it any other way.

jynier Mon 08-Apr-13 01:21:14

OP - so very, very sorry for everything that you and your DD are going through! Are you on speaking terms with your H? Does he know the situation?

Have no wise words but others will be along soon; I found it such a relief to let it all out on here.

Best wishes

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt Mon 08-Apr-13 02:00:35

I had huge issues with ds when xh left so can sympathise. And xh was hopeless and refused to take it seriously really because he just didn't want to hear anything I said.
I have up trying to get him to help in the end and tbh that made everything easier in the end. It was hard to do as ds was so hard to handle and it felt wrong that xh wouldn't help, but in the end I actually consumed so much energy trying to get xh to help that it got a bit silly.
It's a horrible situation and I really feel for you. I'd keep talking here, discuss it in rl with whoever you can, take it all day by day and find a way to make sure you get some space and time to have some good times.
If it's any consolation two years on my ds is so much better now. He has almost fully recovered and its hard to believe he is the same person.

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