Hey I'll try and keep this brief.
It was my sons birthday this week and no word from my dad. No-one has heard from him in over a year now and this comes off the back of a long period (sine I was in my middle teens) of him barely being about and sporadic contact. I'm pissed off he has not got in touch about my sons birthday, but he has not with any of the grandchildren.
Up until January last year he had actually been a little better in terms of phoning and visits and so on and then last Jan he just disappeared and no-one has heard from him since, although his partner answers the phone and says she is passing on messages.
In a nutshell I have always found him emotionally distant, he is pretty much a 'functioning' alcoholic and his rejection both emotionally and now completely practically has caused me no end of issues with self-esteem and so on.
There's a lot more to it but basically I am considering writing a letter to him. Mostly I want to finally get out to him how this rejection has made me feel over the years, I come from a family where no emotional stuff has pretty much ever been spoken about, all of it brushed under the carpet. And certainly I have never had a conversation with my dad about a series of difficult things from my teens and regarding him never being around.
Based on what I know of him it is extremely unlikely I will get any reaction at all from him if I sent this letter. But I kind of feel like I want to tell him how I feel and get it out. I don't want to hurt him specifically or anything but I do think I've never said how I feel and he ought to hear it at some point.
But another part of me wonders whether its better just to do the 'unsent letter' thing and leave it be.
Has anyone else had any experience of this sort of thing and do you think it is better to send it, even if you think it will be ignored, or to just leave things?
Thanks
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Letter to estranged parent...is it ever worth sending them?
7 replies
SundaysGirl · 04/04/2013 13:10
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