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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Entertaining dp's mum

23 replies

Coffee1Sugar · 01/04/2013 15:46

Dp is away this weekend and his mum is coming to spend time with me and my 2yo dd. fine. She's lovely. But dp and I have only been together 14 months and I've met her just 5 times. She's coming for two days including overnight. Suggestions other than lunch and talking about dp over cups of tea?!

OP posts:

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fedupofnamechanging · 01/04/2013 15:51

I think you should reschedule for when your dp is home.

Failing that - shopping somewhere nice, local attractions (museums, galleries, if suitable for your baby). Maybe get her to babysit if she I'd willing, so you could go out.

Really though, I would be reluctant to do this without my dh and I have been with him for 22 years.

Lueji · 01/04/2013 15:52

Ask her if she is one of those cleaning fanatics and give her a mop?

Send her out with DD, so that they have some lovely one on one time? and have some peace and quiet

Graceparkhill · 01/04/2013 15:53

Give her some time to herself . You don't need to spend 24 hours together,Make her room comfy - magazines and biccies.

Ask her what she would like to do or offer a couple of alternatives for her to choose from.

NinaHeart · 01/04/2013 15:54

I'd insist your DP organises all the "entertainment". He knows what she likes and he should be the one making it as easy as possible for all of you.
Over to him....!

NinaHeart · 01/04/2013 15:56

Oh and as someone else said, he should be there. No way on God's earth would I entertain my MIL without DP. Not sure I get the point of that!!

Lueji · 01/04/2013 16:03

I don't see a problem in spending a weekend with a MIL, if she is nice.
It is a good opportunity to get to know each other better.

You can definitely always leave her babysitting or send her away with DD, or go somewhere nice, that you can also enjoy, as a tourist thing.

WafflyVersatile · 01/04/2013 18:16

Ask her what she would like to do.

talking about DC over tea sounds fine!

Coffee1Sugar · 02/04/2013 07:46

My plan so far: Friday - pick her up from the station mid morning whilst dd is at nursery, come home for a cuppa and a natter, take her with me to pick up dd, go for riverside pub lunch, walk/play in the park, home.

Saturday - make her breakfast, shopping in town, bit of lunch, take her to the station about 5ish as she'll have a 3hour journey ahead of her.

She text me this last night which I thought was sweet and made me less stressed about it all "hi coffee, just checking it's still ok to visit you and dd on Friday. I'm really looking forward to it. It will be lovely to get to know the girls that (dp's name) loves to bits :-) xx"

OP posts:

ajandjjmum · 02/04/2013 07:50

I think it's lovely that she wants to come and get to know you, and your plans sound ideal.

I certainly wouldn't be asking her to babysit whilst you go out - sorry karma!

What about getting in a film and nice bottle of wine for Friday evening, for an easy night in?

Hope it goes well, and that it's the start of a great relationship between the two of you.

SprinkleLiberally · 02/04/2013 07:51

She sounds lovely. I think your plan will be fine!

DragonMamma · 02/04/2013 07:52

She sounds lovely and easy going. Just go with the flow, what you have planned sounds fine to me. Most visits I plan centre around meals out and nobody has complained yet.

Lueji · 02/04/2013 07:58

The babysitting could be something as simple as staying at home with the children, or taking them to a local play area, as you go to the supermarket or clean the house, or something.
Not necessarily to have a night out. :)

But she may actually enjoy being alone with the children for an hour or so, where she can give them her full attention.
It's different with the parents around.

I know I enjoy having my nephews around and it helps build up our relationship.

Lueji · 02/04/2013 07:59

But your plan sounds fine, and she'll only be there for just over 24 hours, so not too tiring.

ajandjjmum · 02/04/2013 08:15

Actually Lueji, to leave the DD with her whilst the OP pops to the shops sort of thing is a great idea - just had visions of a mad girls night out, which would be a little rude!

Coffee1Sugar · 02/04/2013 09:19

Yes actually! Maybe ill suggest leaving dd with her whilst I just pop to sainsburys on Friday evening for some wine and nibbles. Thanks!

OP posts:

aurynne · 02/04/2013 09:24

She sounds very sweet and helpful, I suspect there won't be any problems whis weekend. Good luck, you may make a friend for life :)

Rainbowinthesky · 02/04/2013 09:27

She sounds lovely.

Mumsyblouse · 02/04/2013 09:29

Her message sounds really nice.

I think those saying wait til the partner is around are somewhat unrealistic if the partner is out of the home working for much of the time - I realise now how kind my mum was in having her MIL to stay for weeks at a time when my dad was out at work. I adored my granny and if my mum felt some minor irritation, she saw that this was worth it to have a loving involved granny in our lives. Indeed, it makes me feel all teary thinking about it (need to get out more)

Have a lovely weekend, and if for any reason you find it a bit of a strain, remember how much it will mean to her and to your dd (and you can always make sure your partner is around more next time).

fedupofnamechanging · 02/04/2013 09:35

I didn't mean wild night out, honest - I was thinking if you needed to go and get a haircut or something and hadn't wanted to take the baby then it would be a good time to do so, while giving mil time with the baby. Sorry, should have been clearer.

Coffee1Sugar · 05/04/2013 19:24

Day 1 - it's been lovely. Had a yummy lunch at zizzis, a walk home along the river, she's bought dd and I heaps of treats. Shes so lovely

OP posts:

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 05/04/2013 19:27

Oh coffee that is so great. I am so happy to see a positive MIL thread on here. Mine is lovely too and I always feel in such a minority!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 05/04/2013 20:00

DP's mum's text sounded very positive, which was a good sign - glad your first day has gone well.

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fedupofnamechanging · 05/04/2013 20:34

Glad it's going well

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