gambling 'dp' please help

[DorienG]

basically I'm at the end of my tether and I need some reassurance that I'm not being unreasonable.
we have a toddler and have been together seven years. he has always gambled and at one point spent up to £1000 in a week. he takes money from my account to fund his habit. today he spent out last ten pounds on a bet and u just lost it with him. he didn't apologise just swore at me and I kicked him out. please tell me I'm not being unreasonable? my son loves him so much but this is not acceptable is it?

[DorienG]

ps apologies for spelling mistakes am on my phone!

[DorienG]

anyone?

[BalloonSlayer]

Of COURSE you are not being unreasonable.

Of COURSE this is not acceptable.

Well done for kicking him out. He can't still access your account, can he?

[DorienG]

thanks for replying. I'm just so tired from bad nights with our son and really needed that money to get us to nursery in the morning due to the snow. I think he probably can I have no idea how he even set it up in the first place.
he has just called me saying sorry and wants to come back. is this an addiction that I should be more understanding of or will things just never change?

[Busybusybust]

He can't love your son that much if he is prepared to take the food from his mouth and gamble it away! Don't let him back and stop access to your account.

[TeenyW123]

Get your finances split so he can't help himself to the family money. Then get him to leave. Or the other way round. An addict will justify why funds should be accessible to them.

You need to take control - of the money and yours and DCs lives. A thousand pounds in a week? Sheesh!

Get support from RL family and friends and stop feeding the troll.

Teeny

[EllaFitzgerald]

First thing tomorrow morning, phone your bank and explain the situation to them. Assuming he doesn't know your pin, you need to know how he accessed your account and make sure he can't do it again. If he does know your pin, you need a new one.

I know you're worrying about how this will affect your son, but staying in a relationship with a man who's prepared to steal your last £10 to finance his gambling is bound to cause him more harm in the long term. You've absolutely done the right thing. If he's not prepared to admit he's got a problem, then he's never going to change. And if he claims he will change, then let him change before you consider giving him another chance.

[FarBetterNow]

If he stops gambling, you will always be worried that he will start again.
You will never be relaxed.
I presume you work hard for your money. He throws it away.

You may find he has secret credit cards and other debts.
Yes, he is an addict and yes it is an illness, but you could end up being pulled right down by him.

You need to be put yourself and your child first.

[EggyFucker]

you would only be unreasonable if you took him back

[EggyFucker]

My apologies, I thought this was AIBU < getting senile >

You have done the right thing. Now you need to make it permanent

[izzyizin]

He's an addict and if you take him back you'll be enabling him to continue squandering your money on his addiction to gambling.

If he's been 'taking money' from your account without your knowledge or consent, he's also a thief and should be reported to the police.

Tough love is the only way to go; he's out, he stays out, and he doesn't get to put so much as a foot in your door, not even to visit ds, until he's kicked the habit - abeit, sad to say, it's probable he never will.

Is he using your bank card to access your account? If so, change your pin number. If he's in possession of your card, tell your bank what's been going on and ask for a replacement.

[ElegantSufficiency]

Wow. u had to do this. nobody dreams that things will end like this but u had no chouce but to to cut him loose. his gambling would be an alvatrosss around your neck if u tried to stick it out with him. also as if the gambling and money worries werencbad enough, he shouts at u???!