Wondering if I should just give up on this relationship

[ColdCoffeeSundays]

Sorry for going anon on this one but I just want some impartial opinions.

Basically I've been with someone about 7 months, up until now I've been besotted with him and would have done anything to keep him but now I'm starting to wonder what on earth I'm holding on to. He's always in a mood, says he isn't but he is, always grumpy and always moaning. He never seems to want to do anything other than sit in front of the TV night after night.

Last night, for the first time in our relationship he got in bed, faced away from me and went to sleep without so much as a kiss or even a hug. After 7 months??? I remember thinking I may as well be single at this rate. He said he was tired and had no energy - how much energy does it take to kiss someone??

Sex has diminished to around once a week (and even that seems forced) and affection at other times in the day is now completely non-existent.

We're supposed to be going out for valentines day (his suggestion to go for a meal) yet he still hasn't booked anything and really seems like he doesn't want to go anywhere. I was joking with him about him making me a valentines day card from scratch and he changed the subject and more or less started moaning about the "many" nights out we have planned in the next few weeks (2 - which we probably won't end up doing anyway!) so I'm starting to think he isn't even intending to get me a card.

It shouldn't be this dull and depressing after just 7 months should it!? It's doing my head in. I used to think I'd miss him terribly if we split up and in some respects I would because I spend so much time with him but in other respects - what's to miss?? endless nights in front of the TV? I don't even watch TV - I sit there in front of it for his benefit!

[CailinDana]

Yup, sounds a bit pointless to be honest. It might be worth trying to have a talk with him but it sounds like he's not bothered any more and is too cowardly to break up with you.

As an aside, you need to learn to stand up for yourself in relationships - why on earth are you sitting in front of the tv night after night if you don't want to?

[expatinscotland]

DTMFA

(dump the mother fucker already)

[Ragwort]

Why on earth do you put up with this sort of 'relationship' after only seven months - imagine what it would be like after seven years, as you say 'what is there to miss?' if you ditch him. Get rid, get a hobby .

[Sugarice]

What a misery he must be to live with!

Do something worthwhile and tell him to get his miserable arse out of your bed and back into his own and not to bother coming back.

[MarilynValentine]

Yes, it seems like you may as well give up, really. He's obviously given up already.

If he's checked out of the relationship to this extent after 7 months then looks like there's not much point in continuing with it.

[kalidanger]

You'll have to chalk this one up to experience, OP.

I always reckon that relationships should expand ones life, not make it smaller. One should get to share in new friends, new experiences, and many many hours of fun together. Yes, snuggling nights in on the sofa but watching each others favourite films, not crap telly. This isn't really working for you, I don't think.

[Mumsyblouse]

I think your protective instinct that stops you living a life of boredom and dullness has kicked in. Listen to it and move on!

[BeCool]

I never get it when people say "I'll do anything to keep him/her" etc. Surely if your partner is worth being with and the relationship is healthy, you wouldn't have to keep doing stuff or proving things to "keep" that person?

Op sorry but I think that he's not that into you. If he's a moody bugger now, that won't improve without some fundamental changes in him and that sounds really unlikely (take it from someone who lived with one for years).

[LouMacca]

@ expat

Oh op this just feels like too much hard work. And after 7 months?? You could try and talk to him about how he is making you feel but it sounds like this is just the person he is - I think you probably know you need to get rid. Sorry x

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

What have you got out of this relationship to date?. Think your own relationship bar needs to be raised a lot higher.

How did you meet, was this online?.

If this is how its like after 7 months then its not good to say the very least.

He is not bothered and probably just wants someone to look after him without having to reciprocate.

[ScarletWomanoftheVillage]

I would get rid, to be honest, and start enjoying your life.

[pictish]

It's not a goer - if this is what he's like after 7 months, then you may anticipate that this will be the future.

Btw - next time, don't get in the mindset that you'll do anything to hang on to them. That's some friendly advice...apply some self preservation.

[pictish]

I don't watch tv either - can't imagine parking myself in front of the box every night to please a bloke.

[AnyFucker]

What a bore

Dump and move on

You don't really want to live like this, do you?

This is the real Him now, he's made all the effort he thinks he needs to and that you are one of those women that see a shit relationship as better than none

[pictish]

AF nails it.

[LengLogs]

You again?

I saw your threads yesterday. 3 or 4 wasn't it? And the same the day before.

I couldn't be arsed to reply, I noticed you didn't respond to any of the replies. Then name changed and started a new thread about the same thing but worded it differently.

Again, THE ADIVCE WILL NEVER CHANGE!

I doubt he is the problem here. You obssess too much cxand you are extremely needy.

If I was him, I would have dumped YOU by now....