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Will it get easier?

(5 Posts)
Fizzerly17 Wed 23-Jan-13 07:54:33

Hi ladies n gents
First time posting on here, I need some helpful advice, feeling really and my fiancé of 5 years split up in September. At the time my mum was very sick and she passed away in November. During the end of our relationship, I didn't grieve it. I felt nothing because my whole life evolved around what was happening with my mum. Over Christmas me and my ex starting getting on so well and I really thought we would get back together.

Then a week later he said he had met someone and was in a relationship. I felt as thought I had been crushed. I haven't been this heartbroken. Since I was 15. I forgot how awful it was! I am happy that he's found happiness with someone else but it kills me that she makes him happy and I didn't. To make things worse he try's to be my best friend, helping me out n wanting me to confide in him. But I can't because the thing that's killing me is him!
Usually after a break up I would cut myself off from the ex but this time I can't because we have a child.

Please tell me this will get better. I know I haven't explained very well but my heads all over the place. I need to know that in time I won't miss him n he won't be on my mind 24/7 because I think I might be going crazy with it all hmm


CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 23-Jan-13 08:38:00

Despite you having a child you need to cut yourself off from this man. He is not your friend. Keep your communications to the bare minimum and about your daughter only. Find genuine friends and family to talk to about personal matters. Then you'll feel better a whole lot quicker.

scaevola Wed 23-Jan-13 08:46:06

You do need to cut away completely from him as a source of emotional support. Your only communications should be strictly limited to any residual admin from the split, and practical arrangements for DC.

You do however need support - do you have friends or family to turn to? Or consider finding a bereavement counsellor?

Fizzerly17 Wed 23-Jan-13 08:49:45

I do have some friends, but alot of them have Thier own lives going on so don't feel I can talk to them. I have family but I find it hard talking to them because they have the grief over my mum aswell. I have bin told to go to see a councillor so I'm going to organise that in the next week.

I feel like I've lost so much in the last few months and just want to start feeling normal again.

Thanks for your replies xx

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 23-Jan-13 09:14:26

Everyone has their own life. Everyone has problems. Friends can put aside their own troubles for a few minutes to listen to another friend. Family should understand more than most how much you miss your mum and what a horrible situation you find yourself in. The problem here is that if you persist in regarding him as your 'friend' and thinking he's the only person you can talk to you remain emotionally connected. You will never be happy if you go that route.

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