My three year relationship is about to end. The last year has been very turbulent and my dp has given up. I am very much in love with him and although its been a hard 12 months we have overcome so much. I have a 17 year failed marriage behind me. I didn't work hard at things during that time. I met my dp and fell deeply in love with him. His energy, intellect and his general loveliness. I am quite a naive person when it comes to matters of the heart. I love truely and deeply. I knew when I was married that there was true love. I found it with my dp. I married young I never knew what love was until now. I have tried to tell him and show him at every opportunity. I took my ex husband for granted and wasn't a proper wife. When I met the love of my life I promised to show and tell my love at every opportunity. I have all of myself to him emotionally and physically. I have learned so much from him and he has truely made my life richer. Trouble is he sees my efforts as too full on. I wasn't insecure to begin with I knew we were it. That I loved him and he loved me. Friends saw how solid we were and I knew true elation and love after meeting him. 12 months after we started seeing eachother he told me he needed to see if an ex partner would have him back. I told him he owed it to himself to ask if there was unfinished business. I didn't want to lose him but wanted him to be happy.he deserves it. She left him dangling on a cruel string for months..never making her true feelings known., he decided to plough everything into us. He was happy to do so. I've never given south of myself to another person he knew that and was in love with me. The ex then asked him outright did he love me more than her. He said yes. After 12 months we both lost out jobs couldn't afford to go out and were by default at home all of the time. I tried tower him happy by doing what I could to make his life easier.. I smothered him. But I was only trying to show him love and support. I think it went wrong after that as when times got rough financially and socially he realized we weren't all that. He's not the type to deal with stresses and strains of everyday life so I tried to for us both. He looked at me in the end and blamed me for ruining his life. He'd say that anyway. His family have all let him down I was the only one who was there I took the brunt. He flip flopped between appreciating me and resenting me. All the time I loved him unconditionally. I was in it for the long haul. I've never believed in anything more. We overcame our hurdles. Then he left for space. Couple of nights turned into a month.,I was shocked believing he'd walk back through the door any minute. When it took a month I realized we can't have meant to him what I thought we did. After a month he came back. He's been staying at his brothers one or two nights sporadically but his faithfulness has never been in question. I believe in working together not in seperation in order to improve things. But I tried to respect his needs. He then took to visiting his ex partners house to spend time with his son. I know as I'd been round one night he was sleeping with his son. I always trusted him. New year was a disaster I was on a mission to leave the bad stuff behind and move into 2013 together and better than ever. I drank too much wobbled and all the stress of the past year manifested itself. I was a state but not dangerous. Unemployment and financial hardship have out assed pressure on us. But after working on things we began to come together again. I was thrilled and am constantly working on ways I can improve my ability to get this right. My dps attitude towards me has changed. Things he loved or was tolerant of now irritate him. He's not perfect in fact a challenge at times. He's now taken to staying over at his exes house to see his son. When we were solid I felt untouchable. Since things have been different and with all history being taken into account i struggle with him staying there. I like to think I'm showing trust but friends say I'm being a mug. His ex even told me to not let him walk all over me. I'm not used to my partner sleeping out whatever the circumstances. I've never had to deal with an ex before or a situation with children that aren't my own. I'm wondering would anyone else think it was acceptable for my partner of three years to be spending nights at his exes to see his son as she won't let him see him at our house at the moment? I want him to see his son.
But don't see why he hastily stay over. I trusted Hun to be in with his son not to drink or stay up once his son was asleep. He told me when drunk. He had stayed up she came in drunk and they sat up drinking all night til 6. He'd previously told me the opposite. I believe he hasn't cheated but didn't think he'd lie. I was heartbroken finding out as we'd just had the most lovely of nights together., made progress and been close. I told him what he'd said when drunk. I told him I believe he hasn't cheated but I'm hurt he lied. Am I a mug? Or showing respect and trust to him? Please advise. He's leaving soon he said so. I'm devasted. I know what I'd tell friends of they were in this position but I truely know we be what we were and better.he won't be honest with me about if he wants to be here. He pushes away what hurts. And is very stubborn. I need him to be honest with me however hard it will be. Will he do that? Or do some men just dissapear? I wouldn't subject myself to such turbulence not before this or after if we fail. Sorry if I've droned on was just trying to explain it all so as to be better advised. It's my first post apologies if its sub standard
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Purplepeach · 21/01/2013 05:45
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