my family often hurt my feelings but maybe im oversensitive? would this bother you? 1. i mentioned we get basic tax credits. "oh, we never got anything like benefits because i was always in senior management". 2. "i get more money from my pension than most people earn at work" 3. "i earn x amount an hour but i have got a degree" 4. "i only want to associate with mathematicians as i cant be bothered with thick people" (i am not degree educated) 5. "have you put on much weight since xmas? has dp?"
I can understand why it bothers you, and I often gets similar comments from my family - so empathise! I put it down of family/ sibling competitiveness and shrug it off as I am happy with who I am and how I live.
Yes, it's vulgar to bang on about money all the time. It may have enabled them to buy many things, but tact and interpersonal skills seen not to be among the. They appear to see things only in monetary terms - price not value.
There isn't really a remedy I'm afraid: the best you can do is appear really, really bored if such comments happen again. I wouldn't recommend trying to argue with them, nor expounding a different world picture - more something along the lines of "yes, you've said that hundreds of times" then change the subject.
(Try to think of it as a twitch to shake water off a duck's back. The nature of the river is watery, but you don't have to let the wetness through).
i try to ignore and busy myself with dds but its hard. i always feel thick and poor after wheras i am happy with my life normally.
i am always asked personal questions about us and others but i know its not out of concern, more hoping for bad news. like "hows so and so health now, theyve always been overweight" "has x put on much weight" "whats x new partner like, are they fat, are they well spoken" "what car has x got now" they dont know these people anymore so have no need to enquire about them and i try and answer i dont know or i dont notice peoples looks but they ask all the same
its my dad i only see him one hour a week. i shut him down if he is rascist/sexist as i wont let dds hear that. im the only family he has that he talks to. he loves me and if ever i tell him im hurt he apologises profusely. i love him.
im a sahm, which he always says is the best for children, but also says. "when dd2 is at school maybe you can do something useful with your life" "i couldnt be around small children all day as i need cerebral stimulation" "it must be boring singing nursery rhymes all day, i love using my brain"
i have told him im a sahm by choice and love it and consider it the most useful thing i will ever do with my life, same as my mom did for me, but he then points out mom has no pension, not the lifestyle he has etc.
I'm not surprised you're the only family he has left. 'Love' doesn't mean hurling insults at someone any more than it means sitting there meekly taking insults on the chin. Sometimes 'love' means demanding respect and picking a person up when they are being downright offensive. Apologies are a bit thin....
its a shame he cant appreciate that youre doing a great job with your dcs. Obviously hes very money orientated. I think i would be tempted to tell him that he may have the lifestyle but no manners or sensitivity!
was lying in bed thinking about it last night, it really gets to me. i feel like he comes here, talks about how great he is and how rich and clever, says he misses dds but doesnt particularly interact with them, if they interrupt when he is talking he stops and waits for them to finish then carries on talking but they just want some attention, dd2 is only just 2 so doesnt want to be quiet and listen to someone talking. he asks me a question and as soon as i have said a short answer he talks about himself again. me and dp are going through a hard time at the moment and i havent got the strength to be brought down and made more miserable. friends are letting me down, dad is bringing me down, im trying to support dp and mom has made me feel snubbed all in a week and i feel like hybernating from them all with my own little family.