I will start by saying that I know you have been ill and i know how hard things have been for you, I try to be there for you, I try to always put your needs above my own but the time has come when I cant take much more.
I feel unloved, unvalued and unrespected in our family. I try so hard to get you all to like me but you obviously dont and I have to stop trying as it is affecting my mental health now.
A few examples, your birthday this year I spent a really long time looking for the perfect present for you, I was really proud of it and I wanted to see you open it, when I called dad told me I could come and give it to you but I couldnt stay as you didnt have time, you seemed annoyed that I didnt stay, I left your house in tears.
I have left your house in tears many more times over the last year, I try so hard to engage dad in conversation but he gives me one wors answers or blanks me, the minute db and his family arrive everybody engages in conversation and I am sat in a corner (often on the floor because despite having a bad back I am not important enough to warrant a chair) alone feeling so sad. Everyitme I ask you anything you undermine me, you constantly tell e what I am doing worng with the children, that their hair is a mess or they dont have a vest on or that I feed them the worng foods, I volunteer with chidren and everybody I work with has a lot of respect for me and sees me as a strong capable person, you see me as a useless child who cant be trusted with your precious grandchildren.
I know dd1 has a few problems, and I knnow I have asked for help from you when I probably shouldnt but it is not becasue I am too soft on her, other people regularly comment on how well behaved my children are and what lovely girls they are.
I have told you so many times that I am lonely, you tell me you are bored I have invited you here, for walks or just to spend time with me, you never take me up on it so i can only assume that you would rather stick pins in your eyes than spend time with me.
We have had a very hard year and I couuld really have done with some support emotionally, I dont know what to do anymore but I cant go on feeling like the person that you will tolerate until something better comes along (usually brother anf family).
I am scared about going back to work after so long at home with the children, but if I told you that you would just say well dont go then, you dont want me to do things that other adults do as you dont think I am capable, I am and I have managed perfectly well for a very long time, I have 2 beaustiful daughters and a lovely home. If I talk to you about problems ypu see that as a sign that I am useless and that i cant manage.
I am fed up of feeling so sad.
I of course wont send this I just wanted to get it out.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
dear mum
7 replies
ditavonteesed · 13/12/2012 09:48
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.