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NLP brought up some childhood feelings!

(29 Posts)
Movingforward123 Wed 05-Dec-12 20:25:16

There was a lot of violence in my childhood between my parents. Today I went for hypnosis and NLP for weight loss, I am not massively overweight.

I was asked some questions said I'm not great with emotions etc and I comfort eat.

He told me to go back in time blah blah and it brought up feelings of being scared as a toddler which I couldnt remember. But they were very vague.

I am thinking I will have more NLP sessions but would like to know if something like this has happened to anyone else?

And if going back and finding out about it helped you in anyway? Or if it caused you problems from bringing it all up?

ecclesvet Wed 05-Dec-12 21:36:54

NLP has been discredited and I would take any experiences "recollected" using it with a big handful of salt.

TheSilverPussycat Thu 06-Dec-12 13:49:57

NLP has helped me a great deal, I don't believe it has been discredited. I have qualifications in it, actually.

NLP does not usually probe for old feelings, although as you say they may arise, especially in some techniques which allow you to change your perception of the past. If you feel at all uncomfortable about anything, let your therapist know.

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts Thu 06-Dec-12 14:00:29

Not me personally but my former SIL had the same kind of experience when trying to quit smoking. In her case the 'memories' that were brought up had utterly catastrophic consequences that totally ruined her life and caused problems that were far more serious than smoking would have ever been.

carlywurly Thu 06-Dec-12 21:38:11

Nlp has been discredited? says who? nlp can be highly beneficial when used properly. Regression would be more part of hypnotherapy rather than nlp anyway.

I think you need to find a new therapist. Regression therapy can work brilliantly if you are helped to process the feelings which arise and made to feel very safe during the process.

A poor therapist can do damage - check that any you use have a qualification and are affiliated with a regulatory body. They should also have insurance.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Thu 06-Dec-12 21:44:53

There's NLP and NLP. Some practitioners are as mad as a box of frogs and you need to stay well clear.

Top of my crazy list was the woman who believed that people chose to be born disabled, and the Japanese (unconsciously, collectively) wished the tsunami on themselves hmm

glastocat Thu 06-Dec-12 21:47:00

Nlp discredited? Source please.

Furoshika Thu 06-Dec-12 21:51:38

NLP attracts odd people as 'practitioners' and training is very quick, which should sound alarm bells. (Apologies to anyone who does it but really, it's worrying how manipulative and strange some of the people are who 'set up' 'practices'. If you're the exception then good for you but it doesn't negate the presence of some deeply damaged people in your 'industry'.)

Some hypnotherapists train for ages - and some do it over the course of a few weekends. Can you find one who is a properly trained counsellor? They do exist and can be very good. I'd avoid the other sort to be honest, especially now you have this feeling there might be something there. I doubt your present 'practitioner' is in any way placed to handle your case and I'd hate to see you being used to make him/herself feel effective in some way.

Movingforward123 Fri 07-Dec-12 08:13:53

The person I saw had many qualifications in NLP and hypnotherapy. But I would find someone different as I would prefer a woman.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Fri 07-Dec-12 09:56:45

Qualifications are important to check out but are not a fool proof way of weeding out the crazies - the person I referred to trains other people to be NLP practitioners so probably has oodles of titles and qualifications.

Agree with Furoshika - maybe look for a properly trained counsellor? I hope it works out for you.

TheSilverPussycat Fri 07-Dec-12 10:38:52

It so annoys me that NLP trainers think they need a unique selling point, and often that is tacking on new age crud to straigtforward NLP. No need, and nothing to do with NLP.

Furoshika Fri 07-Dec-12 11:51:28

It's not loads of qualifications you want to look for: honestly, you can get 'qualified' in loads of these sorts of things in a weekend. So long as you pay, of course. The whole thing stinks, and I base that comment on knowing NLP people who are completely fucked up and manipulative, but good at doing the calm voice and the odd perceptive comment which gives people the right initial impression. (You get on the wrong side of them? You know all about it. 'The wrong side' might mean 'not agreeing to do them a favour, regardless of your reasons for not being able to'. These people - don't forget - are trained to pretend that all good things come to them because they are able to wish for them, and if you are not providing the good thing, then it's a problem you have within yourself, a blockage you need to clear.)

No qualification is totally sound but some are way, way sounder than others. You want someone who is a qualified counsellor, who uses hypnotherapy as part of their counselling.

TheSilverPussycat Fri 07-Dec-12 11:55:49

Blimey Euro that is so not my understanding of NLP! Good things have come to me because I have done well-formed outcomes (which is basically what all effective people do, NLP just modelled how they did it and then teaches the strategy). All WFO's end with 'what is the next step' and if you don't do the steps ie take action, you won't get the outcome.

Although I agree that quick quals with lots of delegates are rubbish.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Fri 07-Dec-12 12:04:34

<pouts because everyone is ignoring my tsunami comment>

You see, I understand how NLP explains how language etc. is perceived by people and can affect how people react etc.

What I don't get is all the outcomes stuff - which is how the NLP woman I met described people getting cancer. I.e. if you have cancer, you must, deep down, really want to have cancer, and you have the power to get rid of it with your thoughts. People who die from cancer, like my step-son, must really have wanted to die, even if they said and acted otherwise.

Insulting, offensive stuff like that puts me off NLP.

Furoshika Fri 07-Dec-12 12:09:32

What I've seen (having had a career which seems to attract NLP people, reiki also for some reason) is a lot of manipulating people to get things done for them, and an unhealthily detailed and borderline emotionally abusive reaction when people see the game and refuse to play.

I have hear the cancer thing too. I can't really adequately express my contempt.

badtime Fri 07-Dec-12 12:21:02

There is little or no evidence supporting NLP:
Some people find it useful, but that doesn't mean it actually works. You don't seem to be describing NLP, though.

Also, 'recovered memories' are a minefield:
If you spontaneously remember things, it is much more likely to be a 'real' memory than things which were recalled in a 'therapeutic' setting. The human memory is very complex, and frankly unreliable.

I am not saying that you were not scared as a toddler - I imagine most toddlers have some fears - but that you should tread carefully, and be aware of any suggestions a 'therapist' might make, which could influence you and skew what you 'remember'.

PostBellumBugsy Fri 07-Dec-12 12:27:22

MovingForward, I had alot of counselling post divorce, some of which was just the normal kind of stuff, but I also had NLP too. I revisted myself as a child and found I did dredge up unhappy memories - but I kind of knew I would, as I had an unhappy childhood.
The question is what are you going to do with that? There is no point revisiting all this stuff, just for the sake of it. I know that some people argue that you can heal yourself by addressing the bad stuff from the past, and to some extent I agree - but actually the past is exactly that. It happened but the future is yours to make your own.
You are not a child now. By all means recognise unhelpful patterns of behaviour, but decide how you are going to be going forward. Outcomes for the future are the really important thing.

Theas18 Fri 07-Dec-12 12:30:23

Woo an NLP thread.

Sorry to thread crash. I asked a few weeks ago about experience of performance anxiety managed this way and there wasnt a reply.

do any of the people watching this thread have any useful info for me. I've found a practition who says they can help but £££ and long wait.

TheSilverPussycat Fri 07-Dec-12 13:59:03

That tsunami thing is utter rot. So is all the stuff about 'wanting' to get cancer. I have seen metaphor stuff done round cancer, but it was designed to get the subconscious fighting it, as minds affect bodies.

Sorry if we seem to have taken over your thread, OP.

There are a number of ways of tackling performance anxiety theas. A good practitioner should start by modelling how you have the anxiety. For instance, I heard of someone who just saw the eyes of the audience. Then they will help you modify this, by changing your perception/attention/self talk, or by eliciting a better state and anchoring it, or whatever - it depends on the individual they are helping, NLP should not be a matter of applying techniques, but of establishing rapport and working with the client.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Fri 07-Dec-12 14:07:07

Yes, Silver it is utter rot, unfortunately it is utter rot that an NLP practitioner spoke at a training session she was running for wannabe NLP people.

She followed it up with the corker that disabled people chose to be born disabled.

Sorry - as you can see I have a bee in my bonnet about this, I will bow out now.

venusandmars Fri 07-Dec-12 16:31:16

Interesting that the 'evidence' for NLP being discredited is from wikidepdia - not exactly a referenced journal wink

And there are some qualified counsellors and psychotherapists that I might also class as being 'mad as a box of frogs'!

As someone who is qualified in both, and who uses some NLP techniques in my work I'd say to the OP to be careful. Our minds / emotions / psyche are complicated things and when we start exploring one aspect we never quite know what might be unearthed.

I'd say that NLP techniques (on their own) can be helpful for the kind of performance approach that silverpussycat mentions, but that if I had difficult unresolved issues from my past then I'd certainly want to know that I was working with someone who was qualified, and experienced in being able to deal with any underlying issues that arise, and that they participated in regular and formal supervision and CPD.

likeabonnet Fri 07-Dec-12 16:56:09

I don't know a great deal about NLP, but my experience is coloured as I was abused and manipulated by someone who was a NLP practitioner.

I've encountered a few and - though I am sure many/most are normal - anecdotally I'd say they are a weird bunch and I am not sure of the value.

That said, I am all for uncovering issues that might be preventing losing - but perhaps CBT or some more traditional counselling might be a better idea. It seems like you might be after a quick fix at what, I imagine, is great cost.

If you're going to confront childhood issues you might find a different route helpful anyway.

likeabonnet Fri 07-Dec-12 16:56:39

*preventing losing weight. Friday mushy brain...

garlicbaubles Fri 07-Dec-12 17:16:40

Trying to get away from discrediting any specific type of therapy, I personally know fully-qualified and well regarded clinical psychologists, psychiatrists and psychotherapists - as well as hypnotherapists and NLP practitioners - whom I would not let anywhere near my unconscious mind! Qualifications are no guarantee of sanity ... That said, I've benefited from various kinds of therapy and will go back to it when I can afford to.

If you're honest with yourself, Moving, did you have a feeling there was something underlying your comfort eating? I wouldn't rule out the possibility that you sought a counselling approach due to a barely-acknowledged need to look at some emotional issues from the past. If so, then it's worth considering a therapist for less of a quick fix, more of the serious self-knowledge variety. BACP is a good place to start.

Please remember you can always tell a counsellor you feel uncomfortable. They will probably want to respectfully explore why that is, but they should never make you feel even more uncomfortable or tell you what to do. You can (and should) walk out, or quit a course of treatment altogether, if you don't feel your practitioner respects you, your feelings or your boundaries.

badtime Fri 07-Dec-12 20:15:18

venusandmars, you are correct that Wikipedia is perhaps not the most prestigious of sources, but not everyone has access to journals; they can read Wikipedia. If someone were to do so, they would notice the references which lead to journal articles and studies.

Your comment read as if you were trying to cast doubt on the validity of the studies just because of where they were described rather than the quality of the study or the data. That is hardly a rigourous methodology. wink

(sorry, OP)

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