We have been married nearly 20 years and have 2 kids at primary school. I recently asked DH if there was somone else as he kept on disappearing off in the evenings for two or three hours at a time! He said there had been (he is generally incapable of lying when asked something directly) but he said it was going to end. Turns out it was an "emotional affair" - a friendship that had blossomed over the last year and had culminated, two months ago in several kissing bouts - no sex apparently (btw I do believe him re: the no sex). As far as I know there have not been any other women.
Apparently, according to his parents (who are also generally incapable of lying) he had been to see them in tears the day before I asked him if there was someone else. He was struggling with guilt and his parents urged him to break off the affair. The day after I found out he ended the affair via email and copied me in. I vaguely know who the woman is as I've met her once.
Am really struggling with my feelings over all this. Feel devastated. We had grown apart I guess but I feel so betrayed. He is sorry that it happened but somehow that doesn't seem enough - I need to feel loved by him again. I know the affair is over now and it is early days - but is it possible to rebuild things after this or for you would it result in the end of the marriage? What would you need in order to rebuild trust? I just can't think straight about it all. We are trying to rebuild things and talking things over alot (he is still here at home, I didn't kick him out) but it all seems so hard! Going to counselling helps - but is not a magic bullet!
Has anyone else come out the other end after something like this, happier with a stronger marriage (after a lot of graft obviously)? Any tips?
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Relationships
DH - emotional affair with someone else - gutted!
printmeanicephoto · 04/12/2012 17:29
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