Name change regular- invented the alias to post, well, brag really about my affairs on another thread.
I thought I was sorted.
I thought that the fact that I have been seeking numerous affairs since I turned 40 was my life choice. A little compartment. Hurts no one if you are careful.
I'm lucky, or devious, or both. I haven't caused hurt to the undeserving. But I could have- and this is playing on me.
It would be easy- too easy- to blame my need for affirmation on childhood abuse. That had been put in a box, too. Not ignored or trivialised. Just put in a compartment. I thought this was adult, grown up, strong and sensible. My stepfather's death last year put, I had thought, a full stop to it all.
But it hasn't. Still in my head. And still I want my affairs. Need affirmation. But love my DH. Don't know what he would do. He knows about nothing. None of it.
Feel daft coming here for support. Feel I should know better.
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Abuse, affairs, dunno who I am anymore..
22 replies
Shamefulpleasures · 20/11/2012 20:40
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