2 years out of a marriage I met an older man. 12 years older than me, so I felt slightly self-conscious telling my parents how old he was, and felt a little be awkward that my friends would think well of him. Anyway, he was charming, good humoured, generous, thoughtful and a thoroughly decent guy. The first time I met him though he told me he would never get married again. I shrugged. I didn't even think I would go out with him at that point! Anyway, although I've enjoyed this relationship it's never felt like more than a sorbet as The Guardian would say. So, because I didn't want 11 months to roll in to a year, then two years, I ended it. Quite suddenly from his pov. I know he's confused and upset, and that makes me feel bad. But then I feel a bit annoyed that I have to feel guilty about ending a relationship that he told me the day I met him would never lead to marriage. The truth is I wouldn't marry him if he asked because I think he's just that bit too old for me. I never minded his age because I never worried about what things would be like a year from now or ten years from now. I just enjoyed it right now. But I don't want to marry him and he doesn't want to marry me. I do want a serious relationship. He knew that from day one as well. In fact as a response to his telling me he would never marry again, I said "well I will". So we have both known this all along. So why do I feel so bad now. I'm getting sad little texts telling me what we were doing this time last week. I feel awful. He claims he doesn't understand why we've split up. Another thing, although he would have met my child if I'd insisted on it, he really was very unenthusiastic about the idea of meeting my child. He is a great father to his own nearly grown up children and had no inclination to start all over again with a young child. I understand that. But he has to understand that I can't keep a man secret indefinitely. That is not reasonable is it?
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I don't need to feel guilty about ending a relationship like this do I?
8 replies
LadyGuilty · 10/11/2012 17:56
OP posts:
44SoStartingOver ·
10/11/2012 18:04
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