I have been married 20 years and have two teenagers. My husband told me a year ago he didn't love me any more but couldn't bear to leave our children who he adores. We don't argue and get on well and the children have a nice home, a stable environment. We don't have sex any more and whilst there is no friction there is also very little affection. I don't know what has gone wrong and the only thing he will say is that his life is boring and he finds me boring. I thought perhaps it was a mid life crisis and have tried everything - trying to improve our social life but he doesn't want to do anything, get him to bed with sexy underwear but he doesn't want to know. He said it wouldn't be fair to me to say one thing and do another. With my children at an age where they are getting independant I feel very lonely. I have now given up trying with him and am trying to build a social life of my own outside the family. Whilst he has said nothing I think he thinks that when my youngest goes to uni in 4 years would be a good time to go so I am hoping that if I get on with my life by that time he will stay. But am I doing the right thing or should I force the issue now and upset the family balance. He has a close female friend who would like to be more than friends and whilst he is having an emotional relationship with her I know it isn't physical. They text and talk and he sees her about once a month. I know all this because I read his texts - he doesn't know I know his password. Nobody knows what is going on and I try to be strong but sometimes I just cry. I am dreading him going and also the prospect of having to sell my house and live in a small flat with no room for my children. I know they will be over 18 by then but I would still want to give them a home untill they need it.
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matthew2002smum ·
10/11/2012 17:30
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