What the hell is wrong with me?

[homesick247]

I've been separated from my husband for nearly a year, but we only stopped having sex about six months ago. I went on a mission to have sex with someone else as I knew it was the only thing that would stop me having sex with my ex. Anyway, I met a lovely, lovely guy very soon after and was delighted that he helped me break the habit. Sadly, the relationship didn't last and I have slept with three other guys since .
Since the break up of that initial relationship, I have only seen guys once - really treating them shockingly badly and run a mile from those who I actually like.
Anyway, I have made 4 - yes 4 - major mistakes (the same mistake 4 times), breaking the cardinal Internet dating rule of texting for ages and nothing coming from it. I was so sure that the last one would go the same way as his predecessors but it turns out he is the most magnificent human soul I have had the pleasure to come across. And I don't want to see him again. He has met my children and is beyond fantastic with them and we had absolutely great sex. I have deleted all his numbers from my phone but he keeps texting.
What is wrong with me? How could i possibly want to walk away from this? He has from almost the get go talked about us as a couple and being together etc and, again, I was so sure that he wouldn't be in touch after we had sex but here we are.
Sorry, I've read this back and it sounds like gibberish - but there is this beautiful human person who I want to shun. Why?

[puds11]

Because your scared. It happens after a big break up. You may have to push yourself.

[DIYapprentice]

Maybe its because you haven't given yourself time to just be on your own. You're rushing from man to man, and are not stopping to just be at peace with yourself, to work out what makes you happy without a man in your life. Until you are happy with yourself, how can you be happy with a man? (No matter how wonderful he is/seems!!)