Feeling very low right now. I had an early mc this week and have coped mostly on my own with my 3dcs, household, work etc. dh was working away in London most of the week and came home last night. I didn't exactly welcome him back home like I normally do, I was angry with him for not being with me when I really needed him.
After putting the dcs to bed, we sat together and he asked me what the matter is (!). Btw he knew I was going through mc when he left for work. He doesn't understand why I feel so unhappy. He thinks the mc is a good thing, that it wasn't really a baby and why am I being emotional. I've tried to get on with things as normal, but the pain is still there. I can't show any feeling in front of him because he says he can spot the "emotional blackmail" (his words) . He says he doesn't want any more children and if I do then I'll have to find someone else.
He is very happy about the mc (hasn't asked me at all how I'm feeling, if it hurts or even what actually happened! He really thinks it's no big deal)
Then he says he doesn't want more children and asks what I want. I tell him how can I answer that? I'm so unhappy about mc, and had been over the moon to be pregnant agin. Honestly, I am craving to have another baby, another little darling to hold and take care of.
Is this so wrong? My 3 dc are all happy (10, 9 and 5) and I feel so ready for another. I feel blessed with the family I have, and I know we could easily raise a fourth child. Larger families seem to be the rule here in Suffolk, rather than the exception.
At the mo I'm writing this in bed, he is Working downstairs. He thinks mc is over and done with and is ignoring me. Pain and bleeding still here, thank God it has eased off a bit. Feel quite run down and tired.
Sorry everyone for such o long rambling post. Don't know what's to do. I'm ALWAYS the one who is optimistic, happy and trying to keep spirits up when dh is sulky and depressive (his moods are v unpredictable....defo off most weekends....usually distant and gloomy and shouty).
How can I get him to understand how I feel without him thinking it's blackmail?
And I don't think it's fair for him to rely on me to keep taking pills for the next two decades. I told him he needs to take responsibility for contraception for a change ( he said, oh you want me to lose my manliness and have bits chopped do you?)
Stuck.....do I just suck it up and carry on, or is there a way to reach him so can know how horrible the mc was, emotionally an physically
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Relationships
I would love another baby, dh says no.....
Hanikam · 13/10/2012 22:53
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