My friend is in a very unhappy relationship. I think she has a case for unreasonable behaviour even if she's partly at fault, or perhaps the protection of the children's mental wellbeing. Her husband said he's not willing to leave the matrimonial home, so she's stuck with him. She moved here about four years ago not knowing anyone but has made some good friends in the local area, so naturally she wants to stay here. All the children have is here as well. She could stay with friends, but none of us have some for the children as well.
They have two children, have had no mortgage for years, he earns £40,000+ and she works part-time which fits in with school hours so she can be there for the children (which he demeans). Does anyone know where she stands legally? If they separate, is there any chance she could keep the house until the children leave school? She can't afford to buy him out or pay the majority of the bills.
By way of background, she has been very low for a year or so and we often see her in tears. She said the kids are used to her being in tears as that's the way it is. She turned up early last night crying and spent the whole night crying while we were all out. Neither her or her husband have spoken all week. She'd asked if they could call a truce and he didn't see the point.
Often when he comes home at night, she goes upstairs and spends all evening there depspite the fact the children are in the house (he won't speak when he comes in and when they aren't speaking at all she just can't cope being in the room with him). This happens on and off on a regular basis. If they go out for a day trip she doesn't want to be there and walks well behind her family and it's the kids who ask her to join in, not him. He says it's all her fault but won't give precise details. The kids aren't allowed to make unreasonable noise when he comes in - unreasonable being computer games, having friends to play - her 11 year old son has never had a friend for a sleepover. Little things like going to look at his son's potential new school, he didn't see the point in and he had a go at her for taking both children there (he wasn't home even though he knew parents evening was on) etc etc
I don't believe she can cope much longer like this.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Unhappy marriage, any advice for my friend please
5 replies
Madmog · 07/10/2012 10:10
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.