I've been a single parent for the last 3.5 years and get along just fine. Kids slowly moving away mentally (nights out, BF/GFs etc) so when the youngest went off to college last week it wasn't too much of a shock. I do miss them but I'm enjoying not having to be the grown up responsible one. Problem is my mum keeps phoning to check I haven't gone off the rails. I know it's because she cares about me and it trying to be kind and I should be grateful but I'm starting to find it hard not to be snippy with her. My parents are happily married and never do anything alone so I'm never going to convince her that I'm happier single than I was in a failing relationship. I love my kids but I'm not just their mother, my life isn't that one dimensional. I'm starting to feel that I'm wierd not to be in a state. Help!
Let the phone go through to answerphone. I also have a DM that regularly calls and asks 'are you all right?' in the tone of voice most people reserve for someone recently diagnosed with a terminal disease. I'm not just single, I also have an only child.... 'epic fail' as the kids say. LOL!
OOh yes Numberlock I enjoyed having them, did all the parent things, and count myself very lucky that they're now independent and capable of having lives of their own. Now I've got my life back to do something else.
agree totally numberlock - I've cleared the hallway of the shoe mountain, am putting up with the chaos of youngest dd getting ready for the gap year trips and am letting them and their friends have full use of the biggest and best room and TV (was ex DHs study ) secure in the knowledge that one day it will all be mine <evil cackle> and they will just come home to visit.
I'm planning a coven commune of my best female friends to move in with me maybe the occasional gay male
We obviously only think we're OK when clearly we're not
The worst things about being single Most of the time, youre so busy with work, friends and fun, you might not even notice youre single. But occasionally, even the proudest singleton among us will admit that it would nicer to have someone else around. Here are some of those moments
The third wheel Your coupled up friends might be great at inviting you out, but the novelty of nights out with just you and a pair of love birds can begin to wear thin, especially if you feel theyre only inviting you out of pity.
Dinner parties Theres only one thing worse than arriving at a dinner party to find youre the only one whos single - arriving to find there are two single people there: you and someone hideous theyre trying to set you up with.
Self-medicating Even if you pride yourself in being self-sufficient, this can quickly unravel when youre ill. Its up to you to drag yourself down to the chemist and cook yourself up some warming soup, and its not nice at all.
Other peoples pity If youve made the decision to be single, it can be extremely frustrating when others assume youre lonely, unhappy or somehow incomplete as a person. And it gets worse when you feel they pity you or they try to sympathise.
Longing If youre not single by choice, that feeling of longing can be overwhelming. You know its bad when you feel a pang of jealousy over your favourite TV character getting a date, or when the sight of a two-man tent in the Argos catalogue sends you into a wistful daydream.
The cost of it all Being single can be expensive, with no one to share a taxi with and the dreaded single room supplement in hotels. It also seems impossible to finish a loaf of bread by yourself before it goes mouldy.
Holidays Holidays are another nightmare. Its not that you need a partner to go on holiday with, its more that the friends you used to have a hoot with while away are now all coupled up and not available to go away with any more. And you dont want to go away with other single people just by default.
Compromising Sometimes you might suspect that youre just too comfortable in your own company. You hate it when people visit you and mess up your things, and you get so used to doing what you want when you want that you find it hard to compromise when youre with others.
Lack of cuddles Quite simply, it can be horrible not to have cuddles on tap. Sure, you can get a hug from your friend or your relative, but theyre not always around exactly when you need one, and not everyone feels comfortable enough to ask for a hug.
Table for one Youve cracked going to the cinema by yourself, you can do art exhibitions alone and its actually a relief not to have to go shopping with someone else, but what you cant bring yourself to do is to sit and have dinner in a restaurant alone. Takeaways are all well and good, but sometimes that buffet restaurant is calling your name, and your mates arent around to join you.