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I feel like I'm goin crazy :(

(8 Posts)
Mama4412 Sat 22-Sep-12 17:31:14

Ok it's a really long story...... In April my fiancé left me to go back to his ex (who left him before after 3 years and broke his heart and they had a really bad relationship before, they fought all the time and they were basically over for a year before she got the courage to walk away) we were together for nearly 3 years and have a gorgeous lil boy together and were booked to get married in August sad so this destroyed me!!! Wen he left he sed it's cus he was still in love with her and I respected that I was broken hearted but I beer begged him to stay and iv not once tried to get him back or told him I miss him or still love him (I still do very much) well since he's left he's been a nightmare towards me, all iv done is try n set up regular contact with our 2 year old n he's been so difficult! Hes barely seen him, he'll see him once a week or a few weeks then she will kick off and he stops! She has told me that she wants nothin to do with our son and she's not happy that he has a child, ( I don't allow her to meet my baby cus after her attitude towards him I don't trust her) iv been told on loads if occasions that he's miserable and they fight and she's really aggressive with him, I don't understand why he's still there , we were so chilled and happy! Had a few rows but normal stuff never anything big! Well I found out yesterday that they r getting married next Saturday! I'm gutted really , y so soon? Surely they cus wait and plan like normal people they literally booked it last week :\ I don't understand!!! Did I mean nothin to him?? Y is she so against me wen iv done nothin but be respectful of their relationship!! I never text unless I absolutely have to ( which is sometimes once a month) a never call cus at least with a text I have proof of what iv sed cus wen I have rang him to talk about out son he rings her and tells her iv wen tryin to chat him up!?!? I swear I haven't done anything like that I have more pride!! Why does he lie?? Cus then she rings me shoutin and screaming that in pathetic n need to leave him alone etc.... It baffles me!!! Also he's spoke to my grandad a few months ago tellin him that he doesn't speak me as much as he wants and that his gf does his head in and that she goes mental if I contact him or if he even mentions his son in her presence!! She's a very jealous person, he's had to stop seein his female friends and goin out with mates!! I never stopped any of it, I was trusting..... Wat do I do?? In so confused, I still love him..... Do u thinks he's goin to regret this?? Has he lost his mind lol all his mates hate her n thy say im a 1000 times better in looks and personality ..... Please I need advice..... Oh n pls don't be mean cus i honestly haven't tried to hurt their relationship I just want people opinion in the situation .... Thank u xx

Mydogsleepsonthebed Sat 22-Sep-12 17:33:42

Sweetheart. I told you on your other thread. You have to let him go. His life, his choices. I can tell your heart is breaking but you really have to pick yourself up and get on with the rest of your life. He's not that into you. Sorry. {{hugs}}

Mydogsleepsonthebed Sat 22-Sep-12 17:34:01

And he isn't worth it.

Mama4412 Sat 22-Sep-12 17:41:16

U r 100% right I know it sad I just feel so bad for my lil boy, he deserves a complete family and i shud of been able to do that for him sad he's my world!! Wat if I never meet a man who will love him and cherish him like I do sad my baby deserve that

Mydogsleepsonthebed Sat 22-Sep-12 17:43:51

Your baby has a dad. It's up to him to step up or not. And like I said on your other thread, no matter how much you want to make your ex love you, you can't. he doesn't. Sorry, but that's how it is. You have to get on with the rest of your life. Being like this, this upset, isn't the best thing for your baby. Your baby needs a positive sorted and together mum. You might meet someone. You might not. Take the attitude that it's you and the baby and anyone you meet will be a bonus. But take some time to re-set your radar first so you don't get your heart broken again.

piratecat Sat 22-Sep-12 18:05:11

you won't ever be able to work out why he has done this, he may not even know himself.

All I know is that he may not be in his right mind, so therefore you can't access him, the whys, the hows. He can't tell you, nor does he want to.

All you have is you, and you have your baby. Who, as he grows older will become so important to you, yes even more than he is now. As he becomes a person in his own right, YOU will reap the love and happiness together.

I spent a long time trying to work out 'why' when my husband walked out on me and our child, after yrs of trying.

All i can say 8 yrs on, is that he still hsn't worked out his own shit, but I HAVE done my best to work out mine, and bring our child up.

really sorry. xxx you will get there. you will.

Dryjuice25 Sat 22-Sep-12 23:48:56

Move on for the sake of your boy. It sounds like your ex thrives on the drama and really you are worth more than this. It sounds like he wants to be dominated by her to some extent.

Allow yourself to move on and heal. I'm not holding much hope on him being a super dad. He has got his priorities wrong. Maybe you could talk to him about child maintenance or do this through CSA to make sure he support his child financially. There is not much you can do now to get him back and you really don't want unrequited love. Some will love you for who you are one day and you sound like a great mum.

Good luck

itsallinmyhead Sun 23-Sep-12 00:39:57

Mama, your story touches me in so many ways. I'm so sorry you've been treated like this & as for your boy, all he needs is you.

My ex left me for my so called friend, without letting me know over 3 years ago. I've never heard from him since. I have heard, through mutual friends, that they are married but 'not on the best of terms'. I know how it feels to love someone who not only betrays you but who rubs salt in the wound by refusing to give you closure as to why...

Well I'm here to tell you a few home truths girl. He's left so that a happier life can make an entrance into yours & your son's life-fact!

One day you will realise he may never offer closure, so you give it to yourself.

If someone leaves, wish them well, despite how much it hurts because..if he comes back you'll be a different person you might want him back but you probably won't.

I've now found an amazing man who is my friend as well as my lover. We have our stresses like any other couple but he loves me & my DD & despite me never wanting another he changed my mind & I'm expecting our DS.

Time really is a great healer.

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