Frankly I've just had enough !

[hollolew2]

I intercepted a group e-mail about 2months ago from a woman to my husband about going as a group to Ascot (his companies e-mail was down ). This group of women are big trouble one of them is having an affair with a close friend of his who works at his company. He has distanced himself from this friend who's having some kind of mid life crisis. I gave him every oppur tunity to cancel hinted I was going ( when he told me he was going he said oh i,m just going with the usual guys and then made a big deal about trying to remember the other guys name) then I told him I wasnt going que look of relief. Anyway He was away for a golfing weekend and it played on my mind ( frankly i'm fed up of lookng like a prat by my husbands behaviour). I told him I knew about these women and that i'd rather he didn't go He said what difference there are 3000 people there etc. Anyway he got rid of the ticket now we have the sulking! We've argued about it and he made a joke about it last night when his friends came round to watch the football ( seperate story )
winked at me etc (fine) down he comes this morning with a face on about it cos his other friends are going( not with old tarts !) he brings this up as he did yesterday first thing in the morning when out son has his last 4 A level exams basically the most impotant of his life all ill say is not now so in a way he gets away with it well after 4pm this afternoon not anymore!.
Background married 23 years at a very young age everything was ok but he was frankly a coiled spring and used to love a rant for silly things aged 32 mat up with old friends started taking cocaine all of a sudden he was a free party spirit ( instead of a bit of ancountant out four nights a week while I was at home in a fucking freezing house while he drove around in a sports car! Had an affair with a woman in this new group, resolved to leave him then son was diagnosed with a rare incurable lymphoma and I found out what real shit is!
He was really great and I don't know how I coped with that without him ( son stable at stage 1a now for past 7 years ) he still has been partying taking drugs once a week etc but stopped about about 4 months ago. he's always said oh you'll never leave me etc etc . Well recently he's stopped but only because he knows our youngest is 18 and frankly I have kept everything together for the kids ( daughter 21). He's a good dad and apart from the partying which I cannot stand things have been ok but probably because i've made them!
Anyway rant down sorry if i've rambled but it's hard to get all the info down for a 20 year odd strech ! Just feel like my sons illness has given him a license to do what he wants knowing that i threw an emotional blanket over my kids and held them close and wanted normality for them.

[Guiltypleasures001]

Hunny he was doing this before dear sons illness, i think the waves are starting to part for you, youve stayed for the kids, I think unconsciously your starting to realise that the kids are old enough now to cope, and your seeing the future with just you and your husband, your kids were the buffer, they arent anymore.
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