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How much time do you spend with family, extended family, friends?

(5 Posts)
naturalbaby Fri 21-Oct-11 21:09:41

I'm trying to get some perspective as I've been in a total baby centred fog for so long with 3 under 3's.
I spend a lot of time with my immediate family as my parents live nearby and I have a great relationship with my siblings. We have a lot of fun and they help me a lot. I spend very little time with extended family as we don't have many and they mostly live abroad so we hardly spent any time with them growing up.
DH's family and extended family all live fairly close together not too far away and we don't see them very often. His parents every few weeks/once a month, extended family hardly ever.

I feel like I have reallly neglected a lot of relationships over the last few years and have been thinking about the differences in the way me and DH grew up and how our kids are going to grow up. I didn't grow up with much of an extended family and like the idea of of it so am wondering how other people's families work?

crazynannawitchbitch Fri 21-Oct-11 21:15:36

All my family (mum,brother,etc) live over 200 miles away,so a twice a year thing. I have two adult DCs'....a dd and a ds. I see the dd every day,but the ds about once a week,eventhough they are both not too far.

I suppose the saying is right...Your son is your son 'till he finds a wife....your daughter's your daughter for the rest of your life' sad

feelingratheroverwhelmed Fri 21-Oct-11 21:27:48

This is a pretty regular argument between me and DH as we were brought up so differently.
I'm an only child of an only child. I have one cousin who I don't really know at all, and used to see my aunt uncle and her maybe once a year? Until recently my mum was 5 hours away so I saw her maybe 3-4 times a year. She's now much much closer so we see her every three-four weeks, to make sure she has a good relationship with her GC whom she adores, and I think that's really important.

DH comes from a MASSIVE family, both immediate and extended, and they are very close. When we first met he visited them weekly, and still would if I was willing but I'm not I'm afraid! (they are a drive away so it's an effort to get there). So we probably visit them every 2-3-4 weeks depending on what else is on.

I don't think I will ever be as family-focused as he would like me to be, purely because of my upbringing.

I like my little immediate family ie me DH and our DC's, and spending time at home. He prefers spending time with us plus his parents and siblings / nephews and nieces.

They all live within 5 minutes of each other. When I organised a party for DH's b'day a few months ago I had hell from them for having it in the town that we live in, not where they live!

I definitely don;t see friends as often as I;d like now. Pre-DC we'd see our little friendship group at least once weekly, and go on holiday together regularly. Children has changed all that (though we're all still close), as we';re the onlyones with them.

2rebecca Fri 21-Oct-11 21:47:19

My family are all a several hour drive away so get seen 2-4 times a year. My good friends are scattered and seen occasionally. I have lots of work and hobby related acquaintances and casual friends.
I see my husband's family more often every 2 months or so as they live nearer, he sees his parents weekly.
I don't miss seeing more of my expended family. We chat alot on the phone and net and with work, kids, hobbies, keeping fit, house stuff, romantic time with bloke, I really wouldn't have time for more visitors.

2rebecca Fri 21-Oct-11 21:48:00

oops extended, they aren't expended, they are lovely, just a long way away.

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