Not strictly speaking a 'relationships' issue, but I wasn't sure where to post and I would appreciate a considered response.
I will try to be concise.
6 months ago I regularly attended a mother and toddler group. One week a new woman came, she introduced herself to me, checked that I had a child of the same gender and similar age as her, suggested we swap numbers and invited us for a playdate the following week. All very direct and businesslike, but fair enough, why not?
The playdate never materialised and that was that. I stopped going to the toddler group as youngest started nursery and I didn't see her again.
Until now - where it turns out her youngest is now at the same school as my eldest child. We bumped into each other and she recognised me and immediately suggested that we get our two youngest together to play one weekend. I said that would be nice but that weekends are family time for us and we are always busy.
"Okay then, so when shall we get them together?"
I was a bit on the back foot and said that it would have to be a weekday then.
Then she pointed at my youngest and asked if that was the child I had brought to the Toddler group. I said it was. She asked which class he was in at school and I told her he didn't attend the school. She was a bit put out and asked if it would be better then if my child who did attend the school should play with her child. I said probably not as my child who did attend the school was a 5yo girl not a 3yo boy. Then she asked my name and my son's name.
At this point I decided that I was going to be polite but truthful. You know how on Mumsnet people always suggest being direct and honest but in a polite way? That.
I felt that she was being very pushy about a playdate considering that she doesn't even know my name, my children's ages or genders let alone name, or anything about us. Even though I will normally be friends with ANYONE (I know how hard it is to be new and in need if friends) I just felt uncomfortable and tbh a bit irritated. So I wanted to say "you know what? Actually I don't want to."
But I didn't. I said "Erm, well erm okay then, that will be lovely" and am going over in two weeks time. I will have to find out her name before then.
How could I have said no in a polite but assertive way?
Or was it the right thing to do to give her a chance? (I'll go now I've said I will).
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Relationships
Was there any way I could have avoided this?
allhailtheaubergine · 19/10/2011 16:54
Well, desperately looking for positives here, at least you'll always know where you stand with her 
.
And it's kind of cool that she remembered you.
Is she American?
She sounds barking
You have to go now because we need to know what happens.
I would actually cancel - I can't see this being much fun at all.
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