Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

DP, Facebook and "Old Friend".

(16 Posts)
ItBurnsBurnsBurns Wed 12-Oct-11 17:46:05

About a year ago I stumbled upon a private conversation between DP and an old (female) friend on Facebook. He did mention that she'd added him as a friend and that she was an old school friend - what he didn't mention was that they'd been private messaging ever since. He was very secretive about this, never messaging her in front of me and actually turning off the PC at the wall if I walked into the room saying the PC had crashed. Upon reading the conversation one night I learnt that in all the messages sent back and forth, he'd not mentioned me once. Even when she asked if he was married, he just said "no" and didn't mention the fact that he had a long term partner. I had it out with him and he made a point of mentioning me in his next message to her (which she must have thought was weird as he'd never mentioned me before) and changed his relationship status to "in a relationship". Funnily enough, their conversation dried up after that hmm (she sent him the last message, he never replied. Guess it was no fun for him after he'd had to tell her the truth!)

Anyway after that I checked his facebook (without his knowledge) every now and again. When satisfied he'd learnt his lesson I let it go.

Then we had a major "rough patch" and he changed his status on Facebook to Single. I had an urge to check his private messages and as I expected, she'd messaged him straight away to ask what had happened. He slagged me off a bit, told her he was well rid of me and that he didn't mind being single anyway. She didn't seem that interested, just gave the usual "you'll find someone, don't worry" speech.

Anyway we patched things up, I checked his pm's a couple of times and he'd not spoken to her since this last time. It's now been 4 months since he told her he was single and I had an feeling something was up yesterday when he'd been on facebook for ages so later checked his messages and low and behold - they've been chatting again - she asked if he'd had any luck in meeting anyone (remember last she heard he was single) and he said no!!

Now, I honestly believe she is 100% innocent in all of this. She has mentioned her boyfriend many times in their conversations and does not appear to be saying anything inappropriate. It's him. Why would he not tell her we stayed together? Since she's so forward about her boyfriend, why would he bother trying to make out that he's single??

izzywhizzysfritenite Wed 12-Oct-11 17:52:04

Because he's a dishonest twat is the answer to your question and my question is 'what are you going to do about it?'.

RabbitPie Wed 12-Oct-11 17:53:36

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AlfalfaMum Wed 12-Oct-11 17:54:48

Because he's a wanker?

I honestly can't think of any reasonable excuse for his behaviour. He's either trying to cheat on you, or tagging you along until he gets a 'better offer'.
Have you confronted him about his latest, what does he say?

ItBurnsBurnsBurns Wed 12-Oct-11 17:57:01

I've not confronted him about the latest thing because to be honest, I'm wanted to see how far he takes it. If I bring it up now he'll just say "oh but I was going to mention you in my next message!" like he did last time hmm

I'd always wished I'd let it run it's course last time so I could see how far he was willing to take it.

buzzskeleton Wed 12-Oct-11 17:58:15

He hasn't got a lot of respect for you, has he?

ItBurnsBurnsBurns Wed 12-Oct-11 18:01:04

No Buzz, I don't think he has.

Here's one snippet of the conversation:

Woman - Are you still living down * street?
him - yeah, where do you live now?
Women - road - right near your work!
him - ah now I know where to come on my lunch break then! smile

Tongue in cheek or is he testing the water here? her boyfriend lives 200 miles away.

RabbitPie Wed 12-Oct-11 18:18:39

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

buzzskeleton Wed 12-Oct-11 18:23:53

I'd go with testing the water too. Once could be a moment of madness, twice is getting to be a habit.

LeBOF Wed 12-Oct-11 18:28:17

Just fuck him off- who needs this shit?

LeBOF Wed 12-Oct-11 18:30:50

I think everyone posting in Relationships should read

AttillaTheMum Wed 12-Oct-11 18:32:01

I think you would've well rid, or pm her privately, from your fb, tell her what you just told us- or link to the thread- tell her you want rid of him and you need proof and ask her to Honeytrap him wink

JamieComeHome Wed 12-Oct-11 18:37:20

It's just so childish to change your FB status to "single".

akaemwahahahafrost Wed 12-Oct-11 19:50:54

Oh my goodness, Dumpsville, right now, this very second. What a SAD twat! Chasing this girl who clearly has no interest in him. I'd tell him I feel embarrassed FOR him if I were you.

ImperialBlether Wed 12-Oct-11 20:04:43

OP, he is horrible! What on earth do you see in him?

It must have been very stressful, keeping an eye on him, wondering whether the slightest mood will bring about an exchange on FB. I couldn't do it. I'd have no pleasure in the relationship if he was so untrustworthy.

What would your life be like if you two finished? Can you visualise that?

izzywhizzysfritenite Wed 12-Oct-11 21:45:05

You deserve a lot better, honey.

Show him the exit, and then shout 'Next'! grin

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: