About a year ago I stumbled upon a private conversation between DP and an old (female) friend on Facebook. He did mention that she'd added him as a friend and that she was an old school friend - what he didn't mention was that they'd been private messaging ever since. He was very secretive about this, never messaging her in front of me and actually turning off the PC at the wall if I walked into the room saying the PC had crashed. Upon reading the conversation one night I learnt that in all the messages sent back and forth, he'd not mentioned me once. Even when she asked if he was married, he just said "no" and didn't mention the fact that he had a long term partner. I had it out with him and he made a point of mentioning me in his next message to her (which she must have thought was weird as he'd never mentioned me before) and changed his relationship status to "in a relationship". Funnily enough, their conversation dried up after that (she sent him the last message, he never replied. Guess it was no fun for him after he'd had to tell her the truth!)
Anyway after that I checked his facebook (without his knowledge) every now and again. When satisfied he'd learnt his lesson I let it go.
Then we had a major "rough patch" and he changed his status on Facebook to Single. I had an urge to check his private messages and as I expected, she'd messaged him straight away to ask what had happened. He slagged me off a bit, told her he was well rid of me and that he didn't mind being single anyway. She didn't seem that interested, just gave the usual "you'll find someone, don't worry" speech.
Anyway we patched things up, I checked his pm's a couple of times and he'd not spoken to her since this last time. It's now been 4 months since he told her he was single and I had an feeling something was up yesterday when he'd been on facebook for ages so later checked his messages and low and behold - they've been chatting again - she asked if he'd had any luck in meeting anyone (remember last she heard he was single) and he said no!!
Now, I honestly believe she is 100% innocent in all of this. She has mentioned her boyfriend many times in their conversations and does not appear to be saying anything inappropriate. It's him. Why would he not tell her we stayed together? Since she's so forward about her boyfriend, why would he bother trying to make out that he's single??
I honestly can't think of any reasonable excuse for his behaviour. He's either trying to cheat on you, or tagging you along until he gets a 'better offer'. Have you confronted him about his latest, what does he say?
I've not confronted him about the latest thing because to be honest, I'm wanted to see how far he takes it. If I bring it up now he'll just say "oh but I was going to mention you in my next message!" like he did last time
I'd always wished I'd let it run it's course last time so I could see how far he was willing to take it.
OP, he is horrible! What on earth do you see in him?
It must have been very stressful, keeping an eye on him, wondering whether the slightest mood will bring about an exchange on FB. I couldn't do it. I'd have no pleasure in the relationship if he was so untrustworthy.
What would your life be like if you two finished? Can you visualise that?