sister being a bit wierd re pregnancy

[nightowlmostly]

I recently told my family that I am pregnant, my DH and I are very happy as were my parents. But when we told my sister and her DP at dinner she was a bit odd about it, didn't seem very happy or surprised, just not a normal reaction. You'd expect a congratulations at least, wouldn't you?

Anyway, we went round to visit them a couple of days later and they didn't mention it at all while we were there. Now don't get me wrong, I don't expect everyone to be jumping up and down and going on about it all the time or anything, I just think that it's a bit wierd to not mention it once in two hours. We said a couple of things in passing, to try and see if they would talk about it because we had noticed the odd reaction the other day but they didn't take the bait!

I know the obvious reason would be that they are trying themselves and having trouble, but I really don't think that's it, she's just started her career and has said in the past that she's not ready. Her DP on the other hand does want kids sooner rather than later, I thought that was just in a casual way but maybe he's pressuring her and that's why she won't talk about the subject?

Any ideas gratefully received, don't know whether to ask her outright if she's got a problem or just leave her to it? We get on reasonably well, live in different cities so don't see each other that much but I think we have a good relationship. What should I do?

[bigredtractor]

As somebody who has been in the same situation, I'd maybe give it some time and see how things develop with your sister.

Who knows she may be trying, or perhaps had an early mc and hasn't wanted to say anything.

Give it a few weeks and maybe think of something fun - but not OTT - to involve her in. Or maybe ask her for some help with something baby-related and see how she reacts.

Congratualtions!!

[buzzsorekillington]

I'd just leave it. There's nothing to be gained by making an issue out of it.

It'd be nice if she congratulated you, but you don't know what's behind it and it could be a very painful wound to her/them, that it's really none of your business to probe. Don't take it to heart, I'm sure other members of the family are more excited on your behalf and if she wants to explain (if there is anything to explain) she will.

You may find later on in the pregnancy she'll be more interested - or perhaps babies just aren't her thing.

[buzzsorekillington]

Oh yes, forgot - congratulations !

[nightowlmostly]

Thanks, you're probably right about just leaving it for now and maybe mentioning it in a phone call in a couple of weeks, see how she reacts. I would just be so surprised if they'd been trying but maybe there was an accident that turned out to be a happy one then it ended badly. I hope not, I'd rather she was just being uninterested!

[BananaMontana]

Possibilities:
She is pregnant and keeping it quiet
She is having difficulty getting/staying pregnant
Her dh is putting her under pressure and she is resisting, so doesn't want to talk about it
She found out beforehand and is upset you didn't tell her sooner
If she's the older child, she's heartily sick of her younger sibling getting yet more attention (can you tell I am an older sibling? ) and is keeping up a practised act of 'good for you'
If she's the younger child, her nose is out of joint because usually she gets more attention and now you will and that's not normal for her
She finds the whole subject of babies and children slightly icky
Some people simply never pry - well, they think it's prying but I think it's just being interested in the day-to-day.