Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

4th baby dilemma

4 replies

fabnforty · 06/09/2011 13:36

Help I need advice on how to cope!I have always wanted 4 children and now my youngest is approaching 3 I started up the "shall we have another one" conversation wth my husband. Only problem is I want one he doesnt really and its causing a real strain on our relationship and I am suffering a great deal.I can't begin to imagine not having another pregnancy. I also feel that the family isn't quite complete. My husband says I should be happy with 3 healthy gorgeous children, and I really am, I just yearn for a fourth and final one. Am feeling immense pain at the thought I cannot have what I want. Am I going mad?Surely others have gone through/going through this experience?Really need some moral support.

OP posts:

Report

fabnforty · 06/09/2011 13:38

OP posts:

Report

fabnforty · 06/09/2011 13:49

sorry seem to have put my message on twice. Am new to all this as you probably guessed. Thinking its a bit of a Freudian slip seen as feeling so wretched. Hoping for some helpful words.

OP posts:

Report

Helltotheno · 06/09/2011 13:56

Can't really help ya cos I agree with your dh to some extent. Could it be that you're just broody and want a baby as opposed to a new person who will become an adult with all that entails?

It's hard to advise really cos his opinion in this case, doesn't have any less value than yours. You could always get knocked up 'accidentally', which lots of women I know have done, but be prepared for rightful resentment from your dh which will affect your relationship. On the other hand, he could end up accepting it. Either way, it's a risk and arguably not a nice thing to do.

Why don't you leave it for another while and say nothing? He might come around. But he probably won't if you keep digging your heels in.

Report

fabnforty · 06/09/2011 14:06

accidental pregnancy is not my style. What I'm hoping for is a change of heart and him really wanting a 4th.We both have to be 100% certain. Too important to be half-hearted about it. think am deluding myself though and need to start accepting its a no. Thanks for repling.