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so why the fuck wasnt I invited???

(12 Posts)
festi Mon 29-Aug-11 00:43:52

my family have been to goodwood family day today and I wasnt invited, not sure why??

I did nt even know they where going.

It consisted of my sister and her partner and thier 3 kids and her mother and father inlaw, my brother and his wife and thier dd, my sister inlaws brother and his wife, sis inlaws very close friends, who basicaly are treated like and come along to all family events.

Im a bit miffed I wasnt invited or even knew they were going...seems all family and extended family, living close by apart from me and dd where invited.

The thing that upsets me was that earlier dd who is only 5 was upset we were boring and doing nothing for Bank holiday but I seen my sister yesterday who said , they had nothing planed over weekend, just taking it easy and would catch up in the week some time. so I called my sis and brother to catch up for her sake and of course they were out. I now know they where at goodwood and didnt invite us.

I jut feel very sad for dd that she has missed out in spending time with her cousins. I called my brother as I felt very sad but he didnt answer, Im gladf in a way as |I didnt want to get upset but I do want to have this out with them but not sure what to say and how to go about this, any help and advice needed.

GreatNorksOfFire Mon 29-Aug-11 00:50:21

That's pretty shit actually, poor you. How did you find out?

I guess no-one here will be able to answer your question for you; the only people who can are your family.

I would get your DD out of the house tomorrow and go and do something really special with her - just the two of you.

festi Mon 29-Aug-11 01:03:13

I found out from FB (obviously), there was a photo and few status updates that lead me to put 2 and 2 together. Im just totaly miffed. me and my sis had a bit of a tiff a few months ago but all seemed ok since, I wouldnt have thought to the extent that I would ever be excluded. Im devestated and not sure why or what this means. I called my brother but no answer tonight, not sure what i will say now, but dont want this to go unrecognised even if i just mention it casually, not sure how to even approach it...I did have a nice evening tonight, an in promptue drink with neighbours but this afternoon when dd was bored shitless and they had this going on, i just think for her she missed out. dd is out with her dad tomorrow so she has enough happening but still i feel we missed something. I want to know what and how to say something?

Tortington Mon 29-Aug-11 01:05:10

i would tell the head of the family - whoever that is, that this situation upset you. keep reasonable, keep calm and don;t argue. just state that you ee upset.

MadamDeathstare Mon 29-Aug-11 01:05:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

festi Mon 29-Aug-11 01:13:51

ha ha at madamedeathstare, that lunch anallogy sounds about right. I wont tell dd, she had fun in the end at the neigbours but was just a big kick in the teeth to get her to bed and log on to pc and see that. Im not sure what or how to say anything so probably wont. Ill waitb and see if my brother does see i called and if he phones back I might say somethging, but what would their reasoning be, I just cant see this ending in a ohhh sorry misunderstanding kind of thing seems toon personal in a way.

DontGoCurly Mon 29-Aug-11 01:34:07

Is it possible your sister sees the tiff as a bigger deal than you did and is still holding a grudge ?
Maybe she doesn't see it as water under the bridge at know the way some people can be: pretending everything is ok but still holding it against you ?

HairyGrotter Mon 29-Aug-11 09:20:42

That's very mean of them mainly because of your DD. I would be most upset if that happened to my daughter.

I would let my feelings on the whole situation be known in a calm and rational manner. I would mention that if they have a problem with you, then they are wrong to exclude your DD in the day events.

Very upsetting though

Shoutymomma Mon 29-Aug-11 09:27:13

Go on FB and put a comment like "Looks like you had a lovely time." One of them will HAVE to respond, won't they?

planetpotty Mon 29-Aug-11 09:29:39

Flippin eck!! If that happened to me I would be upset/angry!

Dont let any anger get in the way though - who organised it? Whoever did the organising may be the person to speak to and if it was your Sister then she probably has held a grudge and it needs sorting out a bit further.

Or put of FB you have won the jackpot - bet they start answering the phones then ha ha I am joking smile

MmeLindor. Mon 29-Aug-11 09:30:27

That is mean. What was the tiff about? Could she still be miffed about it?

oldwomaninashoe Mon 29-Aug-11 09:33:14

Looking at this from a different point of view.

Is this the first time you have been left out of family events or is it the first time you have become aware that you have been excluded?

I ask this as my younger sister (over the years) has become excluded from most family events, she (I'm sure) does not understand why, as she believes she is a totally reasonable person!

Obviously she is not, and upsets people, who don't tackle her at the time as they don't want to cause a row!

I'm not saying that you are like this, but ask your family members for complete honesty, and listen (for the sake of your DD) to what they say.

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