Life after abuse

[craftyknickers]

I know it's only been 4 days but wanted to tell everyone how proud I am. Ive reconnected with old friends who have been amazing and kept busy making cards but I can honestly say I've had fun!

I was so scared of being without him, I thought I'd cry every day and want to go back. I am actually happy without him.

Being controlled to the point of not being able to wear what I want or even talk to male bar staff when ordering a drink I think I can finally breath and not worry.

Soooo pleased with myself so far :) xxxx

[Onemorning]

Hey well done :) that's great news. xx

[HerHissyness]

Well done love!

I am in total and utter admiration of you!

[HerHissyness]

Not saying that it will....

... but sometimes after the initial rush of adrenalin, can come a dip.

Expect it, prepare for it and if it does come, just ride through it. Post on here if you need hand-holding

you can do this, just look at all the possibilities opening up in front of you, going back to him would mean shutting them all back down.

[FabbyChic]

And things will only get better for you. Enjoy your freedom. Have fun and take time to look after you.

[blackeyedsusan]

congratulations.

[craftyknickers]

Herhissyness Every hour I keep expecting it to come over me. To suddenly expect to miss him so much that I cant cope. I am literally taking every hour one at a time. I have MN on my Iphone just in case lol.
I know that because I have gotten back in touch with some friends he would hate that there is no going back even if i wanted to....Ive made it impossible just in case he contacts me.

Going back would mean even more suspision over what im up to and more lies on my part. I cant go back.

Ive been lying here thinking if i miss him, I think that he gave me such a hard time over the last few months that I cant say that i do.

Im glad I havent heard the words whore, c*nt, or anything else like that for four days lol I cried every day (yep every day - it sounds like im exagerating as i write this)

I was very scared of more change, of making that leap in case i didnt like it but I do.

I am also being realistic as i said before, I am preparing for the saddness. On tuesday I am going to call my doctor and ask for any courses in my area on DV and I am waiting for Lundy's book to come. I need to understand a bit more and be able to accept my situation was abuse. That will really seal the deal about not going back.

Need to go to docs about my eye too, i think I will need an x-ray. The bruise has nearly gone now but there is a rock hard lump on my cheekbone, Its worrying me as I cant touch it. Has anyone else had this, is it normal? It is like a perfectly round ball on my cheekbone under the skin.

this turned out to be a bit longer than expected, sorry guys lol xxx

[Onemorning]

I fell over on my face years ago and had a round lump under the skin, it turned out to be a haematoma, like a solid bruise. It was right on the cheekbone. I'd suggest getting it checked out, just to be on the safe side.

Hang in there lady, and keep coming back if you need us. You're doing great.

[craftyknickers]

onemorning that sounds like it could be that. What happend when they said it was that? Did they have to do anything or did it go down?

Thank you btw, I will keep coming back, I have found so much strength from everyone and i'm making extra friends which i also love because I came away with one friend unfortunatley.

[HerHissyness]

I kind of didn't mean expect it, more be ready, just in case.

It sounds like it may not, you seem to be very clear on what you are actually missing, and none of it is any good!

It is possible, I have not missed my X, in the 5m it's been since I left him at the airport. he texts and asks to speak to DS, and sometimes I speak to him too, but he has no hold over me any more.

You are amazing! anyone would be LUCKY to have you in their lives, you remember that young lady?!!

[craftyknickers]

Herhissyness im holding back tears here!! Thank you. And that coming from a lady who has gone through it but with children too!

I admire you, your posts always help everyone. :) xx

[Onemorning]

Hi Crafty, they didn't do anything, it just disappeared in a week or so. IIRC it went after the bruises, but I was the only one who knew it was there.

Sleep well x