Long distance relationships ~ can they work?

[waitingfornaru]

200 miles apart ~ can it work? Does anyone have a happy experience of this arrangement? Especially where primary school age children are involved.

[Canistaysane]

If you got serious in this relationship (long distance) you would have to ask yourself how would it work in the future? IYSWIM
If one of you moved to be near the other one, the one that moved would miss their family and friends. I am talking from experience it can be tough if you are away from loved ones.

[keynesian]

All depends what both of your long term aims are - whether that be to continue with a part time LDR and nothing more or if both of you are looking for living full time together at some moment in the future.

Re. primary school aged children, in my mind their needs should always be paramount and their thoughts respected.

[HawthornLantern]

Yes, long distance relationships can work - they take a lot of energy and a lot of both sides wanting them to work but they can work and be very happy indeed. I had 4 years of a long distance relationship (he wasn't even in the same country) and it worked for us. I think we could even have managed 5 years long distance- but probably not more than that without one/both of us moving so that we could be together (which is what we did).

So...I'd agree with Canistaysane that the main question is not so much the long distance part but the long term part. Could you, would you/he be willing or able to move so that you could be together at some point? If for some reason you know right now that the answer to that is "no" then you can still have a lovely long distance relationship but it will probably have an "end by" date that is sooner rather than later.

I have less experience to go by on the issue of children - DP's kids were college age and flying the nest anyway. My intuition is that the question of the children is separate from the long distance issue. How much care you have to take that it is a relationship that will be good for the children who will be affected is not going to be different just because your DP is 200 miles away rather than 2 minutes round the corner. You might be more exhausted, because there is less time available all round but that's the effect of distance, not children.

[snoopdogg]

Absolutely, as long as the long distance bit isn't so he can live a double life with another woman

[Whatmeworry]

Yes, but not long term.

[brightermornings]

I've been with my dp for 3 years he lives 180 miles away. I have two dc's which are my priority. We usually see each other every second weekend. It works for us. As for the future I try not to think about that too much it makes my head hurt!!