I have been having counselling for the last few months to deal with depression/anxiety / low self esteem and all that jazz.
It has been incredibly useful and with an increase in my anti depressants I feel a huge amount better than I can remember.
Dh and I have been together for 17 years, two dc one of whom has severe autism. Married for 11 years.
He has a horrible past which included sexual abuse as a young boy :(
He copes with the past by smoking dope, huge amounts of it. He works f/t.
At the moment he has nothing to smoke and when this happens he is an utter bastard, verbally abusive to the dc and me and just generally a horrible person to be around. I feel like a single mum in lots of ways always me and the kids and he never wants to be involved.
I have talked about us splitting up before and am told thay I won't cope on my own, who would want me etc.
Thing is before the counselling, I beleived him, now the little voice in my head is trying to say that things would be ok. But I worry about him :( about what he would do, how he would cope.
I told him tonight that he really needs to decide what is the most important thing pot and his past or now and his family. I can't even imagine what it must have been like for him and in no way want to belittle his horrific experiences but it just seems like every time there is a problem in
our relationship that his past is brought up and I feel sorry for him.
I thought I was strong enough to deal with this but now am not sure. I want him to deal with the past and his addiction is this reasonable?
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What have I done?
20 replies
ChickChicken · 11/08/2011 22:17
OP posts:
MadamDeathstare ·
12/08/2011 00:24
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