Dh & I have been married for 4 years. We have a delightful 4 month old DC. we have demanding but fulfilling jobs.
yet we have the most god awful rows. it has been escalating to the point of ugliness. DH spend his time ' proving a point' and doesn't know where to stop when he's angry. He's never hit me but he can get really aggressive and right in your face.
the issue is: I think Dh has anger management issues. 2 months after i delivered, he was going through his solo bank account statements and realised he had spent a substantial amount of money. because i ' laughed' and seemed flippant about it, he lost his temper and demanded i pay him that money because he must have spent it on me. i was so shocked ....... money ahd never been an issue between us. I mean he is very careful with his money and never been tight fisted with it . He watched while i transferred money online into his account. i was too shocked to do anything else. then he says ' how does it feel to have your money gone? not funny?'
later, he apologises and moves the money back.
till the next fight......like when he called me names 2 days before my exam saying i was worthless. he apologies saying ' i was stressed about your exam!!!'
but i can't forgive him. i am resentful. and also concerned that in his anger, he has no boundaries. he is willing to go to all levels to ' prove a point'!
My parents have now gotten involved after another particularly ugly fight and are now angry with him. sometimes i think when he gets like that i should just keep quiet and back down but then ...Am I not just saying to him that it's acceptable for him to behave this way? though fighting back seems to fire him up. and he will not back down. he has been up in my face while i was holding our son.
i don't want this to disintegrate into a situation we both can't rescue. in between he is a loving father, mild mannered conscientious man at work.
i'm not sure how to proceed....
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
rescuing a marriage.. sorry long
11 replies
spicecrystal · 28/06/2011 10:44
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.