Hi
Im new to the forum. Brief history, I am not a Mum, I have had six miscarriages and severe Asherman's Syndrome and am now 40 and feel its too late and not sure it's something I want to take on at my age. My partner feels the same way.
My partner has elederly parents. His father has dementia and his mother is an alcoholic. She is now in intensive care following a huge drinking/pill binge just because my partner has said that he is going to move an hour away from them to live with me (we have been together for 4 years). He has offered to move them as well, and will and does look after them, but they refuse to move and he doesn't want to live in that area.
It has now become clear that his mother is unable to care for herself or her husband. My partner is trapped by guilt as he feels he has broken her heart and is blaming himself.
I feel guilty because I don't want the rest of our lives to revolve around being 24/7 carers for his parents. My own mother has a drinking problem and she is on the other side of the world. I feel that if, at least, I have to devote my life to looking after an alcoholic, it may as well be my own mother.
Our relationship can't move on because his mother will not let him leave and gives him guilt trips and is now blaming me for taking him away. He's been trying to get them to move even before he met me. Anyway, his sister died of cancer six years ago and his mother never really got over it and it changed how life was going to be. They had planned to revolve their life around their daughter and now they are expecting my partner to take on this role. He is 42.
He is very upset, and I am trying to be as supportive as possible, but sometimes feel its more than I can take on, and not sure what the best way to deal with this is.
Any advice most welcome!
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Relationships
Alcoholic MIL - need advice!
11 replies
HaworthView · 06/08/2010 21:05
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