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How to respond to nosy people ( re renting)

(23 Posts)
Skaarsgard Thu 29-Sep-16 08:43:34

We privately rent our home. I have a very annoying relative who knows this. Yet EVERY time I bump into her asks, in hushed tones as if something to be ashamed of "are you STILL renting??" Its so petty yet so bloody annoying. I feel like she is waiting for me to justify the reasons why we don't have a mortgage and I really can't be bothered getting into any of our financial business with her. Please can someone advise on a suitable response to this nosy mare which won't make me look like the rude one!!!

EssentialHummus Thu 29-Sep-16 08:50:10

"Yes, we're lucky to have found a house we love with a great landlord."

It's just none of her business.

Mozfan1 Thu 29-Sep-16 08:52:24

Tell her to fuck off. What a rude bitch.

Mozfan1 Thu 29-Sep-16 08:53:51

Or 'yes, renting is our only option while I sustain my very expensive prostitute addiction'.

THEN tell her to fuck off

Skaarsgard Thu 29-Sep-16 08:54:08

Thanks! I know it really is none of her business..I'll respond with what you said!

Skaarsgard Thu 29-Sep-16 08:54:48

Cross posted..Thanks everyone grin

Mozfan1 Thu 29-Sep-16 08:56:01

Just such an awful thing to say. Is she trying to make you feel bad or something? Plenty of people like the freedom of renting so not being tied to one area and having all repairs etc paid for. Renting isn't failure. She sounds like a cow

expatinscotland Thu 29-Sep-16 08:58:47

'Have you still not got help to learn to avoid asking rude questions?'

ohnoonoo Thu 29-Sep-16 09:01:08

"Goodness! Are you offering to help us buy a home? Thank you so much!" Then go in with a dramatic hug.

Skaarsgard Thu 29-Sep-16 09:08:35

Yes she is quite a rude person generally but it just always flummoxes me when she comes out with this sort of thing. I'm due to see her ( family thing) and want to be prepared. If it wasn't for the fact we are related she isn't someone I would normally spend any time with. Expat I love your response and ohnoooo ..that's exactly what I feel like doing !!!

olderthanyouthink Thu 29-Sep-16 09:09:52

ohnoonoo +1

peaceloveandbiscuits Thu 29-Sep-16 09:10:31

"Are you STILL renting?"
"Yes, are you STILL a rude cow?"

Mozfan1 Thu 29-Sep-16 09:11:41

Or when she asks just say 'yeah, why?' I would love to know why she cares so much hmm

Skaarsgard Thu 29-Sep-16 09:35:23

Me's one-upmanship I believe.Thanks for replying with these perfect responses!

Wingedharpy Fri 30-Sep-16 00:17:22

How about:
"Yes. We're waiting for an inheritance from a wealthy relative. How is your health these days?"

SauvignonPlonker Fri 30-Sep-16 15:01:49

Try not to take it personally; it's not about you.

I think there's a generational attitude to renting, it's so commonplace nowadays that younger generations don't even blink about it. But among the older generation, there's a view that rented places are shitholes & you're paying someone else's mortgage <sigh>.

I'd just say something like: yes, we really love it, the flat/house is lovely & just on the location we want. Or something similar. If she asks why you're not buying, I agree with the comments above about waiting for an inheritance.

peaceloveandbiscuits Fri 30-Sep-16 15:17:33

Agree with the generational thing. My mother has been berating me for years about how I'm throwing my money away by renting. Yes, mum, I know. But are you going to buy a house for me? No.
It wasn't until she came to buy a house this year (her fourth) that she finally realised what I meant about a deposit being a pipe dream.

leaveittothediva Fri 30-Sep-16 15:34:11

Your answer to Are you still renting?. Is simply to say to her next time. What's your point.?. See what her response to that is. Then say back to her. So, let me get this right, what your really trying to say is that because we are renting, you feel you have to speak to me in hushed tones like I should be ashamed or something, is that what your trying to say. Watch the bitch backtrack. Say it in front of people. You don't owe this person an explanation of how you live, you don't owe it to anyone.

Mozfan1 Fri 30-Sep-16 16:10:14

diva you've SLAYED it!

Skaarsgard Sat 01-Oct-16 17:18:24

Thank you everyone for your assertive replies! Just what I needed to hear.

TurquoiseDress Sat 01-Oct-16 17:55:09


I get this from mainly friends/acquaintances of my parents.

My parents seem to have given up berating us for still living in rented accommodation...yes mother, I really would much prefer throwing 1.5k out the window in rent each month rather than get our own place...yes cos it's just a case of waking up one day & deciding to buy a place hmm

One particular friend, in his late 60s, asks me the same question every time him and he sorts of winces, as if something has just stung him.

Hey ho

Overall, I do get the impression from everyone around us that we are not quite adults or taking this whole life thing seriously as we have not even managed to buy someone yet.

DailyMailPenisPieces Mon 03-Oct-16 08:17:56

In return I would ask in hushed tones how her diet was going, or some other question that will make her feel a bit judged. Repeat each time she asks you.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 03-Oct-16 08:21:12

Just throw it back to her with a puzzled "why?" and look extremely baffled.

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