So what do we think about exclusion from sporting activities as a punishment?

[DrNortherner]

My ds is 8, very sporty, very good at sport. Not academic, about averege, could try harder but really does not apply himself. He is never top of the class, star of the week, super pupil etc.

He is no angel, but he is bright, sparky and engaging, but if uninterested can be cocky, answer back and be disruptive I am under no ilusions.

Anyway, school did heats to pick runners to represent school in a county competition. First 3 boys get to represent the school, my ds come first in 100m, 200m and 400m. He comes home proud as punch.

Today, the team was announced and he was told he has not been picked as he will probably be naughty.

These are his words, not mine, and I need to pick this up with his teacher tomorrow.

I know where school are coming from, but feel a bit peed off that ds won't get to represent his school and won't get the chance to finally excel at something.

What do you think?

[helyg]

I think if there has been a specific incident today of him being naughty then it is not unreasonable. My DS2 was given a similar punishment in school for that.

But if it is just because he "might" be naughty rather than a specific incident then I think it is unreasonable.

[scurryfunge]

It's seems unfair to ban him if he will "probably" be naughty....talk about labelling. If it is a punishment because he has been misbehaving, then it seems reasonable that he wouldn't be a good ambassador for the school.

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

Here say is a dangerous thing. Go and find out from his teacher.

[ZZZenAgain]

strange

if he won, he should go IYAM.

[AMumInScotland]

I think they're idiots to take away the one thing which motivates him! Better to have given him a place on the team, with stern warningg that it could be taken away if he misbehaves between now and then.

But it might be best to find out exactly what the teacher said, rather than rely on his account - they can sometimes "simplify" adult explanations to the point where they change their meaning!

[ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave]

If it were a case of picking him once, him misbehaving, and then not picking him the next time, then I could see it.

But if they are just predicting that he will "probably" be naughty, rather than giving him the chance to represent the school at the one thing he's good at and get a sense of achievement and pride that way, it is completely unreasonable and shows such a startlingly bad grasp of child psychology that TBH I'd have my doubts about letting them teach my children any more.

Because the school has already decided that he will "probably" be naughty. They've already given him a punishment for the naughtiness he will "probably" do. What earthly motivation does he have to behave in school now?

[MmeRedWhiteandBlueberry]

If a child is routinely naughty, the last thing they should be doing is representing the school.

He should take this as a lesson and sharpen up his behaviour.

It is standard practice in the school that I work in that team representation is based on being up to date with work and of good conduct.

[cory]

Could it be that they did take it away as punishment for something he has done, or a succession of disruptive incidents, but then tried to motivate it to him by saying "the way you behave, how can we be sure that you won't let us down at this event?"

[Aduby]

Speak to the teacher to find out exactly what was said and why. If he has let the school down when representing them before, it may explain things?

You could have been discribing my DS, very alike, very into sport. His naughtines (nothing major) improved vastly when the sports coordinator started encouraging him to represent the school at all things sporty.

he loved the fact he had the responsibility and had to live up to the schools expectations when doing something he excelled at and thoroughly enjoyed.

I think it is a real shame your DS is being deprived of this opportunity to show he can behave and a shame he is not representing school at something he is obviously very good at - this type of thing can be a viscious circle too.

[Aduby]

vicious

[frecklyspeckly]

Reminds me of my ds(7). Was banned from attending football club due to repeated silliness (his teachers words). he annoyed football coach, and was warned that the football coach was looking to 'thin out the team' based on silliness, lack of interest and disruption. I was not happy but on reflection, he chose to be silly. He was warned. Doesn't seem fair though that your ds hasn't even done anything yet! are you sure this isn't ds own perception of why he was not included? if not sure you must get an explanation from the school. Either way, as a parent it still hurts when your child isn't included.

[pointydog]

If lots of children were keen to represent the school at the sports competition and if a note of 2nd and 3rd places was kept, then I think it's fair enough to pick a good sports person who is well-behaved if the first choice has got into trouble at school.

I think yoiu need to find out what has happened recently, in between your son coming first in the heats and him being told he cannot represent the school.

[MmeRedWhiteandBlueberry]

I think that it is reasonable to look at behaviour 'across the curriculum' when allocating priveledges. It should not be a case that he is fine in PE/Games, therefore should be lavished with prestigious opportunities. The kids who slog daily with their academic activities and turn up for every practice should get first dibs.

[DrNortherner]

Well I had a good chat with his teacher, and although ds has improved in the clasroom his playtime behaviour is still hit and miss. She said he is trying so hard in class and working well, but still is always in the midst of bother at playtime. He is very impulsive, always has been, though it is getting better and will continue to do so as he matures.

She did admit that he won his heats fairly, and that he is very athletic and hopes that missing out makes him buck his ideas up.

I think they made a bad judgement call and told her so, this may be the one thing to motivate him. He wins no awards academically, it's a poor show he is not allowed to excel at something he is god at.

[DrNortherner]

god = good. I don;t think my ds is GOD!

[Wandaaa]

Why did the school let him take part in the heats if they never had any intention in letting him compete?

Surely not taking part in the heats would have been an adequate punishment/kick up the backside. This is just cruel.

[RollaCoasta]

I think they should have asked you to accompany him to make sure he behaved.

[crisproll]

How would you feel if your DS went to this sporting event and behaved impulsively? Probably that its the schools fault by the sound of things! You may not agree with the school`s decision but you could use it positively as a VERY good lesson for your DS. ie. "If you want to be in the school team your behaviour must improve!" Random suggestion I know, but taking responsibility for behaviour is the first step in changing it.

[NonnoMum]

Ask them about their inclusion policy.

[crisproll]

Inclusion policy! The only policy OP needs to look at is the school`s behaviour policy....Read AND accept!

[NonnoMum]

Am wondering if there was a "spellathon" (could happen) for academic kids.

If the geeky/dyspraxic children keep on falling off the beam/letting the goals in/dropping the catch and generally not succeeding and/or messing around in their PE lessons, would they be banned from going to the Spellathon?

OK, not a precise analogy but some little boys find it hard to behave, can't they be encouraged in areas of the curriculum in which they excel?

[MumInBeds]

Hmm, it seems a bit harsh but isn't good discipline a fundamental part of sport?

[crisproll]

Very far from being an analogy! How insulting! Dyspraxia is a condition that children are born with. Bad behaviour to this degree is learned. Falling off a beam, dropping a catch is not the same as being disruptive, cocky, answering back or misbehaving so badly in the playground that they cant be trusted in a school team. Absolutely encourage a child but dont reward bad behaviour. Good discipline should be a part of sport.

[ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave]

But what I'm hearing from what the teacher said is that the OP's son is trying much harder and showing significant improvement, but that they aren't responding to this by giving him the chance to live up to high expectations and give him extra responsibility (not an unfamiliar concept in sport -- it's not uncommon for a well-intentioned but slightly ill-disciplined player to be tried out as a fill-in captain of a team as an attempt to get them to live up to the role, and I've seen it work) but rather by telling him in so many words that he will "probably misbehave".

So his real efforts to improve his behaviour go unrecognised and unrewarded, and in fact he is punished more severely for his remaining bad behaviour than he has ever been before. I cannot see any way in which this is going to motivate him to do anything other than slack off further and stop making the efforts he's already been making.

I think it is extremely misguided.

[NonnoMum]

Get him to join your local athletics club and bugger the school.