DS had "induction day" into Reception Class today, and im worried

[TitsalinaBumsquash]

DS is going up into Reception in September, he hasn't said a lot about it, i have spoken to him and he isn't really that interested.

So we all trundled along today, 2 of his friends from Nursery were there to, and out of about 30 children DS cried the second we walked in th building, im woriied now, he as also been having a few nightmares this past few weeks and im wondering if its connected?

He has NO interest about school so far where as other children seem to.

I know im comparing him but not i a bad way i just don't want him to have a hard time settling in. He is fin at Nursery, no problem at all. I think it was a bit overwhelming, i am wondering though why he found it more so than the others?

I can't sleep, im concerned. Help please.

[Goblinchild]

It will be fine, and he will be fine.
New things can be a bit overwhelming for some children, they take a while to acclimatise, and maybe he's one of those.
He will adjust come September, and Reception teachers have seen all varieties of children who find the idea of school something less than welcome.
If it's as hot and sticky where you are as my corner of the world, no one is sleeping well.
Take it easy, be laid back and it will all work out.

[TitsalinaBumsquash]

Oh god, thanks for replying, i am all worked up, my niece breezed in like she owned the place ond poor DS clung to me.

So should i talk about it more with him? He got given a school book bag with a book and a starting school activity pack.

He can write his name just about and count and he can dress himself and use a knife and fork.

He just looked like a Rabbit caught in the headlights when the teacher asked him if he could find his name.

[DidEinsteinsMum]

Its new. Ds waltz in with no problem the first visit and had the stattle rabbit look with regard to names the second. and unlike your ds who will settle in time, will eventually get up to his normal tricks and become difficult. DOn't worry just keep talking to him about it. Someone recommend the topsy and tim book on the hand holding thread give it a go. I think there is also a osbourne book about going to school. read make it sound fun but within reasonable expectations and don't worry.

[DidEinsteinsMum]

meant mine for being so pessimistic about ds.

[Goblinchild]

My daughter loved the first week, then became stroppy when she realised the following Monday that it was going to happen again.
She felt that she'd had enough education.
Trust the teachers to help your son settle, get distracted and be happy. The startled rabbit look is common, it wears off once they know exactly what is going to happen and what they are supposed to be doing.
If he can dress himself, you have done the teacher a huge favour!
I know it's hard, but don't worry too much that a girl seems more socially confident than your boy, that's common at this age too.
Try and set up a comforting and predictable routine in the mornings when he goes to school, I know it sounds an obvious thing but if you let him see you're worried, he may become uncertain too.

[saadia]

My ds1 was exactly the same, cried the whole way through the initial visit and I had to stay with him in the classroom while all the other parents left their dcs to retutn to the hall and hear the rest of the Head Teacher's talk. But, he was absoutely fine when he started, a few minor niggles but nothing too worrying.

The first visit is not necessarily an indicator of future problems.

[TitsalinaBumsquash]

Thank you.

[smee]

Definitely talk to him and see what he says. Our DS really got into the idea that everybody he knew, including all grown ups had gone to school - somehow it made him feel okay and realise it was just what happens in life. Can you make sure he's got some other kid to walk in with on day one? Or can you stay on day one? I know all schools are different, but it made a huge difference for my son that I didn't have to drop him off in the playground. I only stayed an hour, but it was definitely easier for him, as he relaxed and realised it wasn't scary before I left.

[AvengingGerbil]

Can I recommend the Ahlberg's 'Starting School' for DS?

Mine was pretty upset about the whole idea, but the book calmed him down a lot, going through school routines etc. And it turned out that what really worried him was everyone kept going on about how he was going to school, but no-one said anything about coming home again - we got to the page where the children all put on their hats, coats, gloves, scarves and boots (yes, I read it a lot) and go home, and his little face lit up like a Christmas tree, and he said 'I get to come home again?' and all was well.

[TwoHot]

I second Ahlberg's Starting School, tis a lovely book and it doesnt just cover the first day, goes all the way to Christmas.

My dd was really scared, but it was ok. Be gentle with him and take your time. Talk about it all in a general way, no big deal. Go to play in the playground during the summer holidays if its open. We did that and I think it helped, we used to peer in the windows too :>

My dd is fine now and she was one of only two who cried every morning. She did stop tho!

[EachPeachPearMum]

You know avenging my dd thought the same- she actually thought she was going to live at school once she started (didn't stop her looking forward to it though )

[cory]

My ds hid under the table at induction day and refused to speak to the teacher. He was fine when the term started.

[Smithagain]

Do talk to him, but be a bit wary of overdoing it. It's a long time till September and you might need to back off a bit and let him relax.

My first daughter got really stressed in the run-up to starting school. Once she was actually there, she was fine.

We realised (too late) that there had been so much talking about "big school", for weeks on end, that she had got a bit over-anxious. She was also under the impression that all the other children would be bigger than her - because everyone kept saying things like "oh, she can't possibly be going to school yet, she's so young"... And she believed them! She was very relieved when I eventually twigged that was the problem and told her all the other children in her class were 4 as well!

[helencw77]

Hi, I can sympathise, my ds had his induction last week. He sobbed and howled on the way in, I stayed with him for the first half hour but then left him for the second half (the Reception teacher let my ultra-confident 3 year old dd stay with him though, she was busy chatting to all his classmates and playing with the toys).

He was fine on his own apparently, but when I went back in (it was an hour in total), he dissolved into hysterical sobs whilst all the other children sat in a circle (including dd) singing songs and listening to a story. Ds lay under the table with tears rolling down his face screaming "Take me home, I HATE it".

His teacher actually came to his preschool the following day (he's the only one going to the school from his nursery) and spent about half an hour with him and he was very happy, very pleased, she said what a delightful child he was and he has been chatting about her, and school non-stop ever since.

So, I think he was very overwhelmed and he is quite a reserved child. I'm sure that he'll be a bit upset on his first day, but they've said he can start first with the summer borns (he's a Nov baby), so there will only be 8-9 in his class to begin with.

I'm sure he will settle quickly though, I think I will try and get that book though, it sounds good !!

Helen xxx

[GillL]

My dd wouldn't let me go at her induction on Friday. The parents were supposed to go to a talk with the headteacher for 30 minutes but she clung on to me and begged me to stay, so dh had to go on his own. There was only one other child who did the same. I think that the other children were ok because 12 of them (out of 20) have siblings at the school so are already familiar with the place and, from what I could make out, at least half of them go to the local pre-school together so they were with other children that they know. Dd's not very confident and is a real mummy's girl. I keep trying to reassure her that it will be ok and she will make friends quickly but I can imagine that she will be taken away from me crying at least on her first day

[SoupDragon]

They will all be fine.

The teachers are well used to settling nervous children - far better than than parents of the child!

At our primary school, they don't start all 30 at once so it's less overwhelming.

[ByThePowerOfGreyskull]

harry and his bucket full of dinosaurs has a first day at school book as well, it is really good.

What I would add to everyone else is that last year (new to reception) DS's class of 24 had 5 or 6 who were sad every morning for the first week - none of them were upset when the parents came to get them, and within the first half term they were all running into the class room happily every morning.

Good luck and enjoy!!

[hellion]

My ds was a bit like this when he was due to start. I think you are right - it is so overwelming. We all got through it, and came out the other end fine - and I am sure you and your ds will too.

I tried to ease off mentioning about school through the summer holidays and just concerntrated on relaxing and having a good time. This seemed to take some of the pressure off.

[hellion]

Just to add - my dhworks works shifts. When my ds started school he asked when he would have to do "nights". It is amazing what goes through there little heads at this time!

[RosieMBanks]

Just to say, I agree with all the recommendations re 'Starting School' by the Ahlbergs and also suggest 'I Am Too Absolutely Small for School' by Lauren Child. You might like to read the reviews for both books on Amazon - both get lots of recommendations.