Do I need to go up to school? Criticising teachers?!

[chandylier]

Need some perspective.
Ds-yr6.
We moved a year ago, so he’s been there just over a year.
He tells me all the time that he hates it. But I know he has fun there most of the time. He has friends, no bullying. Cries, begs not to go in.
He has had amazing reports and results and his teacher says he can’t ask anything more from him.
It has a reputation as an amazing school, it’s independent.

Here’s his reasons

The teachers shout
One teacher screams at them, think she’s lost control of them. He can’t bear her, and this was his favourite subject.
His music teacher has never smiled. He taught himself something on his instrument(a month in) and the teacher told him it was wrong.

They all hate them

One of them called them worthless

If one child does something wrong, they all lose golden time or breaktime.

[HappyDinosaur]

That sounds terrible, no teacher should need to shout and scream (except perhaps on very rare occassions) and should really be helping students improve in a positive way, not just criticising without helping. The group losing golden time is common as it encourages group responsibility, but the rest is bad. It's so sad that your son is unhappy, I think a good teacher would have picked up on this, definitely arrange a meeting with the school as this needs sorting.

[Thatdilemma]

Ex HLTA here.

My DD has teachers she just doesn't gel with.
Whole class punishment drives me bonkers as imo it's ineffective but meh.
She has teachers who don't smile.

I wouldn't complain about that tbh.

She has a teacher who according to DD name calls and screams.
I WOULD and have raised that type of behaviour.
Calling a child worthless is not on.
I MIGHT raise that my child is feeling despondent and telling me they don't see the point in trying anymore because they are consistently punished for others behaviour. Would depend how often it occurred.

[chandylier]

How do you complain about the teachers you are having the meeting with?
Whole class punishment just isn’t working and it just makes the children resentful surely? And they have to supervise so it makes more work for them
I feel like taking him out until September, and asking for a refund for this term.

[chandylier]

I’m so upset
We changed our life for this school
I trusted them and it’s all a sham

[GoFiguire]

Why did you start two threads?

[chandylier]

Cos it got lost in chat, no-one responded, so I thought I might find someone to talk to here

[GoFiguire]

Is this your first time in independent education?

[YouBumder]

I’d certainly be complaining you’re paying good money for this. Will he be leaving to go elsewhere for high school?

[chandylier]

No
His previous school since age 4 was independent too

[chandylier]

He is going to their senior school
Different building, different teachers

[tanpestryfirescreen]

His music teacher has never smiled. He taught himself something on his instrument(a month in) and the teacher told him it was wrong. Was it wrong? Smiling isn't obligatory.

They all hate them all hate who? Sounds subjective

If one child does something wrong, they all lose golden time or breaktime. Collective accountability- it is an independent school- discipline is probably robust.

[chandylier]

He taught himself 2 songs, how can it be wrong? No encouragement, no points for enthusiasm.

All the teachers hate all the children... that’s what he thinks. He’s feeling no warmth from any of them

Collective punishment- this is obviously quite common, but it’s obviously not working and just causing resentment

[chandylier]

It was because he learnt it by ear and they’re supposed to be reading the music

[Jossina]

Why did you change your life around for this school in the first place? Because it was very academic? Because it had tight discipline? Because leavers went to the secondary school you wanted?

[YouBumder]

Definitely raise it. It’s bad enough having your child feeling like shit in a state school, fuck that when you’re paying through the nose for the privilege

[chandylier]

Jossina- because it seemed like a very happy caring school. Similar ethos and vibe to his old school, which was lovely

[chandylier]

We didn’t move for this school
We wanted to move (actually ds wanted to) But I wouldn’t until I was happy with the school.

[Aquilla]

Sounds like my schools! It's, er, school. Your ds is not there to be entertained!

[chandylier]

Yes -Aquila, I think that’s the teachers attitude
Doesn’t matter if you feel disheartened and worthless, it’s school, you have to just suck it up

[Cyberworrier]

I do wonder how you know for certain that one child did something wrong and that led to whole class receiving punishment. Not to say your child would deliberately mislead you, but it is surely possible there were others incidents/warnings that your child may not have even be aware of?
It certainly sounds like there is a problem, but if you chose the school and liked so much about it, maybe it would be more constructive to go in and voice your concerns in a neutral way and ask for the teachers/schools perspective? As it does look rather like you are taking child’s perspective as absolute fact and not trying to discuss/engage with school before despairing and contemplating taking him out of the school.

[Maldives2006]

Teachers are supposed to unstill a love of learning and engage learners this usually comes from children enjoying school!!

[chandylier]

Yes. Cyber, you’re right I am just taking his word for it. But on his very first day he made comments about the teacher shouting, at first I let it go because I just thought he wasn’t used to it.
Now all the comments about losing golden time and break time are adding up into another view of the school. Which I’m not liking. I know they threaten to take away the treats, the HM has said this before. I’m just not used to this way of discipline and I don’t think in my sons previous school there was anything like this.
Do I let it go because it’s just a different method, or do I discuss it with them and tell them my thoughts, and be the snowflake parent?!
Ultimately my child doesn’t want to go to school.
And it’s heartbreaking when he’s crying, not wanting to go.
Of course if I go in and talk to them I won’t accuse them of hating the children I will just tell them my concerns about my child, simply the fact that he’s not happy should be enough.
But I have had one conversation with them already about him not being happy, which I think has been glossed over, because their view is, get over it.