Being bullied in school

[Downhillrider]

My 8 year old daughter is recently being bullied by 2 girls at school the school keep saying they are dealing with it. First this this morning one off the girls said something along the lines off “haha you don’t have a mum”. My daughter ended up hitting the girl and now she’s being punished and is excluded for the rest off the day and tomorrow. While the other girl is still allowed in school.

My little girl is absolutely heart broken and is very tearful. She’s never been told off in school and is a bright student.

[LeekMunchingSheepShagger]

It's difficult but most schools will have a zero tolerance policy towards any kind of physical violence (hitting, pushing etc.) An exclusion is a usual punishment for hitting and they can't and shouldn't make exceptions.

What are they doing about the bullying?

[Downhillrider]

I actually don't know all I get is they are dealing with it

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

If they say they are dealing with it and it's still happening, I think you need to put your concerns in writing and ask them for a written assurance that the bullying won't happen again. I'd cc in the Governors and ask for a written reply within 7 days.

[Bibijayne]

It seems unfair that the instigator hasn't been punished!? I'd chase the school up, that's a terrible lesson for them to be teaching your DC.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

You might get a few more replies if you ask MNHQ to move your thread to Primary Education, you may get a few more replies.

[Downhillrider]

I know she hasn't got the same punishment as my daughter and she didn't hit back! I've got to see the school on Thursday morning

How do I get the post moved? Sorry still new to all this

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

If you report your own post, a message section will pop up and you can ask MNHQ to move your thread, if you want to

[AnyaMumsnet]

Hi there all,

We've moved this to primary education at OP's request.

[Hamsternauts]

Are you the dad and your dd has lost her mum? If so then the other girl should certainly be punished for what she said. My dc are at secondary and their father died. No one has ever made a nasty comment to them about losing their dad but i know the school would come down hard on anyone who made a comment like that.

[Stressedmummyof4]

Hi op,
This seems to be the trend, my dd has been tormented by two boys in particular in school. She has been pushed down the stairs, punched in the head, floored in a dinner hall and set about with one boy being dragged off her, constant torment of quietly spoken words I have sent emails been to ht office and just being told they will 'speak to them'. She was even told to move schools because he wasn't going to give up on her. School have done naff all, they seem to have relented a bit no doubt moved onto their next victim it makes me sick honestly! I know these children were never excluded because I continued to see them day in day out acting like nothing happened. In the end I told the school when they break her and she thumps them do not under any circumstances punish her or phone me because you are allowing it to happen and she is being pushed to snap. I hope you find a solution soon x

[Downhillrider]

Thank sorry yes I'm the Dad and I lost my wife 2 years ago which the school know about and the children are getting help with coping with the loss off their mum

[Hamsternauts]

I'm sorry to hear that and i would certainly expect the girl to be dealt with by the school for saying that.

[BlueChampagne]

So sorry for your loss. I feel the school should be a bit more sympathetic due to the circumstances. I can understand a zero-tolerance approach to hitting, but that doesn't stop a teacher taking time to explain why she has to be excluded. And the school may not be able to say what steps they are taking with the perpetrator.

If you have been liaising with the class teacher, I would request a meeting with the head. And second the suggestion of involving Chair of Governors.